The Swap
by Animorphgirl
Summary: What if Tom had been a voluntary Controller from the beginning?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: The idea of Tom as a voluntary Controller came into my head fairly recently. Of course, there have been fics about Tom later joining the Peace Movement, being freed, and even never becoming a Controller, but leading the Animorphs instead. As someone who writes-or at least begins writing-a lot of "Yeerks as the good guys" fan fiction, the idea of Tom being infested from the beginning with a decent Yeerk seemed too interesting to pass up on writing.

I readily admit that it's been years since I've read most of the books in the Animorphs series, but from what I remember, Tom-or rather, his Yeerk- didn't start pushing Jake to join The Sharing until the beginning of the series. That makes sense, because if he had been bugging Jake for months beforehand, Jake probably would have joined, gotten infested, and the Animorphs series would exist with him only as a minor character. So, in an event to make the events of this story as close to the original series as possible, I am infesting Tom two weeks before Elfangor came to Earth.

I also don't plan on rewriting the entire series from this AU perspective. For one thing, it would require getting my hands on, and rereading all of the books, something I neither have the time nor the motivation for. That being said, if my motivation to write this thing lasts longer than it did for some of my other pieces, I will jump ahead to key parts in the series. I already have more than a vague idea for the ending. So, with that, I hope you enjoy what follows!

The Switch

As soon as I entered the room holding the meeting for the Full Members, I realized I had made a mistake.

Well, that was putting it mildly. An epic fail, really.

At first, I didn't see or hear anything out of place. For the first 2.5 seconds. Then, I spotted what I assumed was someone wearing a Halloween costume and everyone listening to him intently. But what really threw me was that the creature was speaking into everyone's head (mine included) and not using words.

I kind of freaked out then, and there was no recovering from that.

Looking back, had I played it off as some kind of pre-Halloween AKA pre-April fool's joke, I might have gotten away. Would have thought that in addition to being a cool community organization that had fun activities and prided itself on helping the needy, they also had a sense of humor. It may have incited them to ask me to become a full member earlier. I definitely wouldn't have wanted to quit, then.

Of course, the end result would have been the same, although maybe a few weeks later. I still would have become a Controller...just could have enjoyed my pre-Yeerk days a little longer.

Maybe it worked out for the best this way. I might not have become a voluntary Controller if they had waited.

I initially joined to get close to Allison, a really cute girl who I just started to get to know that year. Starting high school meant the combination of several middle schools throughout our district, and while the number of students in each class didn't change-all of our parents had voted to keep the average size to twenty-five students or less-the number of students in our grade exploded. People like Allison, who I'd never seen before, were now my classmates. Not only was she cute, she was popular, and smart. In a bunch of advanced classes, if what I'd heard was true.

I wasn't exactly the Mr. Popularity or Mr. Ivy League In Training of my grade, but I was talented at basketball, which got me some points with my classmates (and the girls), and my grades were decent enough. When I heard that she had joined this community group called The Sharing, I decided to check it out. Maybe we could get to know each other better.

Allison seemed to know that I was interested, because we'd hang out together at some of the events, and she always said hi at the meetings. And while we hadn't exactly gone out on any dates, once we'd held hands during a barbeque at the beach. She'd asked me about becoming a full member, then, and I asked her how it was different than what I was now.

Her answer hadn't seemed all that suspicious, but I probably wasn't encouraging enough in my response. I wouldn't say that things cooled down after that, but I noticed her going to those full member only meetings more than usual. I got it into my head that there was a guy she liked in those meetings, and I wanted to tell her that I really liked her, and if that meant becoming a full member of this club, I was up for that.

I didn't see her again for a couple of weeks, and when I did, she hurried into the full members meeting before I could say hi and tell her everything. It dawned on me that she was probably already seeing someone else.

I only hesitated for a minute before heading in. That's when I saw who I thought was the guy in the Halloween costume, and shortly after that was when I began freaking out.

Because thoughtspeech, as I later learned, isn't something that you can fake. Maybe I still could have pulled off an escape, had I been quicker to think of a joke or even just pretended not to hear it. Or even acted like I was already a full member and this sort of thing was totally normal for me.

The reaction was immediate, and the next thing I knew, I was being dragged through a door-not the one I came in-and down a flight of stairs. I didn't remember what I was saying, but I remembered being more in the state of disbelief (because of the thought speech) than in a state of panic. Not that I was okay with being dragged somewhere against my will, but I was more confused than flat out terrified.

The fear kicked in when I heard the screams, and panic kicked in when I got a glimpse of people-and other creatures covered with blades-in cages. There were a couple of lines to what looked like a giant pool, and both lines had people and the bladed creatures. Other bladed creatures were directing the front of the lines, and in the second line, some people looked calm, while others were being held still by more bladed creatures.

I must have asked something like, "What in the hell is going on?" because I distinctly remember one of the humans in the second line tell me, "You're in hell."

The four or so people who had been dragging me this far-and banging me up a little along the way, judging by a very sore cheek and some blood dripping from my nose-said something about how I had to go immediately. One of the bladed creatures who hadn't been burdened with incapacitating another human grabbed an arm and another one quickly followed. The other humans let go, but they didn't leave.

They nearly dislocated my shoulders pulling me to the ground, which was probably my fault because I was still trying to fight them off. Adrenaline high, probably. One of them grabbed my head and forced it in the water.

No, not my entire head. I could still breathe. It was just my right side. My head, up to my ear, was submerged, but the rest of me was still above the pool.

All I wanted was air, and I was only dimly aware of a sharp pain in my ear that quickly faded. Then, the feeling of something crawling inside, and if my hands hadn't been in the grasp of the bladed monsters, I would have temporarily overlooked the lack of air to try to pry the thing out.

Maybe it was silly, but somehow, that gave me a sense of relief. Whatever the aliens were planning on doing to me, death from suffocation wasn't part of the plan.

Yet.

Maybe it was silly, but I stopped thrashing then. What was the point? Two bladed aliens were holding me down, and even if it had just been one, I doubt that I could have fought them off, adrenaline high or not. Everything that had happened in the last couple of minutes had been due to my rushing into things. Maybe, I should just take a minute to figure out what to do next. After all, I was pretty uncomfortable, dangling over a pool of murky water, but I didn't feel any immediate pain, so probably, my life wasn't in immediate danger. Sure, I had no clue what was going on, but...

Suddenly, I felt something soft push up against my ear. Instinctively, I tried to move, but the aliens tightened their grasp on my head. I heard words that didn't sound like English-well, of course, aliens probably didn't know any Earth languages-and then, a sharp pain in my ear. Before I could shout, it was gone, replaced by this feeling of something pushing itself inside my ear. Some kind of injection, maybe? The alien equivalent of anesthesia before an operation?

 **Except, I could feel the movement inside my ear continue. No more pain, so it probably had been a numbing agent, but that wasn't exactly reassuring. Were they going to do some kind of brain surgery on me? Kill me outright? Was the numbing part of some kind of euthanasia, the kind that some states gave prisoners before a lethal injection? I'd never given it much thought before, the painkiller before the execution. If that was what was happening to me, was I supposed to feel glad that my alien killers were humane enough not to want me to suffer as they performed a brain procedure that would lead to my death?**

 **As these morbid thoughts crossed through my mind, I became aware of the numbness spreading from my ear throughout the rest of my body. Without much logic. Like, first my right arm seemed to go numb. Then, my left eye. Then, my tongue. Eventually, I became aware of the fact that I couldn't even do as much as blink.**

Except...suddenly, my body was behaving normally. My mouth spoke, saying it had control. Suddenly, "I" was getting up, being assisted by the bladed aliens.

Control? I had control? No, control was definitely something I didn't have.

(Calm down,) a voice told me. (It's all right.)

Great. Not only was my body going on like I wasn't even there, I was hearing voices.

Not just voices, either. Emotions, belonging to the voice. A mix of confusion, uncertainty, and even fear. Well, closer to apprehension than fear.

The fear was all mine.

There were good ones, too. Excitement, awe. Mostly as it used my body to move around, my eyes to take note of my surroundings. Despite the hellish place the aliens had taken me, this voice found pleasure in being able to look around and, almost more importantly, see everything. Not that the voice told me these things in words, but the emotions themselves gave it away.

(You're not hearing voices. At least, not in the sense of going crazy, as you would say,) the voice replied, sensing my bewilderment. (I'll explain it all in a few minutes, but for now, know that you have nothing to fear.)

Was I dead? Was this voice some kind of an angel or something?

(No...Tom,) the voice replied, pausing before saying my name. (You are certainly not dead. Just, try to relax. It will all make sense soon.)

Had I been in control of my body, I might have become sick. I was still vaguely aware of the dizziness caused from my head being forced under water, not to mention the matching pain on both hands. Plus the bloody nose and banged up cheek. Yeah, it had really been a great day.

My body moved past the rest of the people and back into the room. It slowed before standing before the Halloween costume guy.

"Visser Three," my voice acknowledged.

(Glad to see that problem was taken care of,) came the thoughts of the creature. (You are?)

I was 99.9% sure it was no longer a human wearing a costume, but my mind couldn't think of anything except "creature" to describe him. Well, maybe "monster".

"Terlin six-five-seven of the Hett Simplatt pool," my voice replied.

My vice principal, Chapman, who I had seen at numerous Sharing activities, spoke up. "Is there any resistance from your host...Tom?"

"He's confused," Terlin replied. "I will explain everything to him shortly."

Chapman nodded, and the monster spoke again. (If that is all, you are dismissed, Terlin.)

Terlin nodded, said something about a candle, and then left the room.

(Kandrona, not candle,) he told me. (It's a replica our sun.)

One question down, a million to go.

(You can just think your thoughts at me,) Terlin told me, and his tone changed from teacher to something more gentle. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. (This was not how I hoped things would go.)

(That makes two of us. When are you going to explain things? Like, why can't I speak, or move?) I asked him. Was it a him?

(We don't have genders the way you humans do, but for the sake of simplification, yes. I am a "he",) he replied, moving my body in what I assumed was the direction of my bike. Then again, I had been wrong about a lot today, so it wouldn't surprise me to be wrong about that, too. (You can't move because when I entered your mind, I took control of the nerve centers of your mind, so they react to my commands instead of yours. As long as I have control of them, you will be unable to do anything on your own. Your thoughts, however, will still be yours to control.) Terlin kept the pace of my bicycle steady as he "spoke", while my horror grew as this new reality sun in. (As you guessed, we are not from your planet. The bladed creatures you saw are Hork-Bajir. The Visser's host body was an Andalite, and it is probably the only one of those you are likely to see. Both of them, along with the humans who escorted you to the giant pool and nearly killed you, are controlled by my species. We are called Yeerks.)

Then, to my surprise, he sent me an image of what looked like a slug. (We are several inches long, and unable to see at all or hear much in our natural state. Our sense of touch, however, is excellent, and as you can tell, we are very intelligent. Unlike your Earth slugs.)

He waited for me to react, and while my first reaction was disgust at the idea of a slug inside of my head-or wherever he was currently residing while controlling my body-my more immediate concern was just how sanitary it was for an alien to be living inside of me. If I wasn't going to, at the very least, break out in hives, and at worst, die from exposure in an hour or so.

(No, no, Tom, you don't have anything to worry about on that end.) Terlin's voice became reassuring, and I could have sworn I could hear a stifled laugh. (We are parasites, yes, but our presence in the mind of our host-which is where I am living-does not affect the host's body adversely at all.)

(So, I'm not going to die from some weird strain of an alien bacterial infection?) I asked.

(That's correct.)

That was a small relief, I supposed. Although, given that my body had been taken away from me for an indefinite amount of time by an alien, I wasn't so sure if dying from its/his presence would have been so bad.

(You were afraid that the bladed aliens were going to kill you by removing parts of your brain, and now you _would_ prefer to die from an infection over living with me?) Terlin sighed. (Well, I can't say I am surprised. Few take well to infestation, at first.)

(Infestation? That's what's going on now?)

(That's what happened when I entered your mind and took control,) Terlin corrected.

(And took over my life,) I added, sourly.

(Well, if that's what you're concerned about...)

Slowly, I could feel myself regain control. I was glad that it had been gradual, because otherwise, I could have fallen off my still moving bike. Not for the first time, I couldn't wait until I turned 16 and would get my dad's old car. No more getting around on this thing that I'd gotten when I turned thirteen.

My mind must have registered my shock, because Terlin addressed my unasked question.

(It's not necessary for me to be in control of your body the entire time. Only when I am around my fellow Yeerks. But,) he added, (it IS necessary for you to cooperate with me, which means not screaming about aliens to your fellow humans.)

 **(I didn't!) I protested, hands clenched on the handles of my bike, afraid that the Yeerk was going to take control again. He didn't.**

 **(No, Tom, but you were thinking of it,) he chided.**

 **Had I been? Maybe deep in my head, but not consciously. Not at that moment.**

 **(All of your thoughts are visible to me, Tom,) he explained. (Not just the ones you address at me. Likewise, I can access all of your memories.)**

 **I scowled. (That's got to be an invasion of privacy.)**

 **(I agree,) Terlin replied. (But it's nothing that I can control.)**

That was a little better, but it still hardly felt fair.

(It's not. If it helps, I won't use it against you.) At my confusion-what else was new?-Terlin explained, (There are Yeerks who replay their hosts' memories, both bad and good ones, as a means of discipline. Both as punishment for acting out, as they see it, but also as a way of subjugating their host. Those Yeerks are generally the ones in positions of power, which I am not.)

A thought occurred to me. (Is Visser Three one of those Yeerks in charge?)

(He's the leader of all of the Yeerks on this planet. Not the highest of all Yeerks...that's the emperor. But the visser's rank is closer to his than most of us can ever hope to be. Should we aspire to power.)

I got the sense that Terlin didn't particularly want that power.

(You're not incorrect,) he told me. (I serve the empire, which is the form of government the Yeerks have adopted for as long as we can remember. But I am not particularly ambitious, as long as I have a decent host body. Preferably one who is voluntary.) After a pause, he added, (Someone who doesn't object to my being there.)

While I would hardly have considered myself voluntary, I had to admit that I objected to Terlin's presence a lot less now that I was back in charge of my body. I could only hope that it would last. Obviously, I didn't know much about Yeerks at this point, aside from their desire to take over humans, but Terlin didn't seem _too_ bad.

(And...that's me?) I confirmed. (Your host body?) I didn't say anything about not being voluntary. If he could read my thoughts as well as he claimed, and I had no doubt that he wasn't lying about that fact, well, Terlin already knew that part.

(Host, for short. Yes.)

(Why do you need them?) It didn't seem like an outrageous question. Sure, without a host, they were stuck in a pool, but at least they didn't have to take people, or other aliens, over. Wouldn't have to deal with their questions or their protests at their minds being invaded, their bodies no longer theirs.

(It's true that we do not need host bodies in order to live. As long as we were in a liquid substance, receiving nourishment in the form of the Kandrona every three days, we could exist that way. As it is, we have to return to this pool every three days to absorb the rays and the nutrients for a few hours, or else we will die. The humans and Hork-Bajir you saw at the pool…)

Here, he paused as I took a minute to digest everything. (The bladed creatures.)

(Exactly.) He paused again. (Do you want me to continue?)

Oddly enough, Terlin sounded tentative. Enough so that, even if I hadn't been in control and strongly objected to his presence, I probably would have agreed, if only to have more information to figure out everything I needed to know. In order to understand what was going on.

(We can exist without host bodies, under these conditions,) Terlin explained. (But in our natural state, we cannot see, have extremely limited mobility, and are nearly deaf compared to the hearing of most hosts. The only sense that gets duller when we infest a body is touch, and that pales in comparison to being able to see and hear. And not just that. Can you imagine being able to move, truly move, or lift objects, after living your life as one of your helpless slugs?)

I could understand it. Sort of. At least, it made sense to me, why Terlin and other Yeerks were willing to take over the minds of other beings in order to have a better quality of life.

But the screams from the people and the Hork-Bajir at the pool made me realize that the Yeerks' happiness came at a cost. How many humans and Hork-Bajir were basically slaves inside their heads, only able to get their bodies back for an hour or so every three days, just so that their Yeerk could experience a better life?

On the other hand...Terlin was in my head now, and he could see and hear with me in control as easily as if he was in charge of my body. While I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted him there long term, I couldn't say that I wanted to scream just because he was there.

Okay, the fact that he could read my thoughts and see all of my memories was creepy, but he'd promised that he wouldn't use that to hurt me. True, I couldn't know what he would do in a few days or a few months, especially if I ticked him off for some reason, but wasn't a promise not to use that as a way to hurt me better than nothing?

It was a lot to think about. I felt Terlin tugging at my mind. Not grabbing control, exactly, just calling something to my attention.

We had arrived at my home. I made to get off my bike, but suddenly, I couldn't move.

(Hey!)

(Sorry!) he said, and withdrew control. (It's a habit.)

I took a deep breath and parked my bike outside of the garage. (Can I go inside?)

He sent me a mental nod. (You can't say anything to your parents, or your brother.)

(Well, for one thing, they'd never believe me. They'd have me committed. But I figure you'd take control so quickly that I wouldn't be able to.)

The last part came out a little harsher than I intended, and Terlin flinched mentally. At his silence, I opened the door and called out-as per usual-that I was home.

Not hearing any response, I headed in the direction of my bedroom. It would be a couple of hours before dinner, and maybe I could rest a little before then. It being a Friday, I didn't have any homework that needed to be done immediately. I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror on my way to my room, and froze.

Ugh.

(We should probably get you cleaned up,) Terlin told me, not unkindly. (The Hork-Bajir and other humans certainly weren't gentle when they took you to the Yeerk pool.)

(No kidding.) I studied myself in the mirror. Scratches all over my hands and arms from the Hork-Bajir blades. What looked like would become a left black eye. Bruised nose, but upon further inspection, it definitely wasn't broken. (Am I going to need a tetanus shot from the Hork-Bajir cuts?) I asked Terlin.

(Doubtful. As long as you use enough soap and water, and perhaps some of that human alcohol. The rubbing kind, not the drinking kind,) he confirmed.

He let me get cleaned up on my own, and afterwards, I headed into my room. Still at least another hour and a half before dinner, and mentally and physically, I was exhausted. I climbed on top of the bed without bothering to remove the covers. Shut my eyes, and waited for sleep to take over.

(Tom?) came Terlin's voice.

(Yeah?)

(Look, I know it's a lot to take in. It always is. But me being here...it doesn't have to be a bad thing. There are many humans who want us there. They've formed a type of symbiotic relationship with their assigned Yeerk. Even some Hork-Bajir.)

(Do they really have a choice, though?) I asked. (I mean, suppose they tell their Yeerk, look it's been great, but I don't really want to be a part of an alien invasion anymore. Go find another human, or better yet, just live in the pool. I just want my body back, permanently. I'm guessing their Yeerk would laugh in their face. Or, in their head.)

Terlin sighed. (It's not exactly something we asked for, either. At least your slugs aren't sentient beings aware of all they're missing out on.)

(Yeah, evolution kind of bit you in the butt there,) I agreed. Then, (Do Yeerks have butts?)

Terlin took a moment to consider this. (I don't believe so.)

He was quiet for a little, as though thinking of something to say. Lucky him. He could keep his thoughts to himself.

(Sleep well, Tom,) he told me, finally.

As exhaustion finally won out, my last thoughts before losing consciousness were that I didn't dislike Terlin. I could see that he was trying to be a good guy, at least for a Yeerk. And except for infesting me against my will-and given what had happened earlier, if it hadn't been him, it would have been another Yeerk, and possibly a cruel one at that-he hadn't really done anything so far to make me dislike him. I was even starting to get used to his voice in my head. Which was pretty bizarre, considering that he'd only been there for a couple of hours. I didn't know if I wanted to take the leap and consider myself a voluntary Controller, but did I really want to spend my only time without him locked in a cage, listening to the screams and cries of other involuntary hosts?

A/N: If you've read this far, please take a minute to write a review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I initially intended this all to be from Tom's point of view. The voices in my head-aka the voices of the characters Tom and Terlin-told me otherwise. I don't know if I will alternate between their perspectives with every chapter (and possibly throw in some of the Animorphs' later on), but this chapter is from Terlin's point of view. It's more dry than I had intended, and you can blame him for that. :) Hopefully, the others from his POV will be more interesting! Also, I'll indicate in future chapters who's speaking...although, I hope that the context will make it clear enough!

Terlin

I "watched" as Tom fell into an uneasy sleep, glad that he could take this time to recover, mentally, before joining his family for their evening meal. Things had been difficult for him over the last few hours. I had learned that the initial infestation was always trying on hosts, even if they had been raised knowing that it would occur at some point. We never infested our hosts until they matured to some degree, as infants are essentially helpless and we suspected that without some natural development, the maturation of both mind and-more importantly-body would be interrupted. Even with preparation, I had learned, the first experience of a Yeerk entering one's head, taking over their body, and reading their thoughts and memories would feel, at best, unsettling. And those were all for hosts that were of lower intelligence than a human teenager.

All of my other hosts had been with a Yeerk before being assigned to me. Tom was the exception in that not only was he my first human, but I was his first Yeerk. Even more unorthodox was his infestation.

Visser One, the Yeerk who had discovered this planet and its billions of available hosts, had established an organization called The Sharing. She believed that the sense of community and belonging it promised would entice humans to not simply attend the initial meetings, but become "full members". At this point, some sort of summary of Yeerk infestation would be described to the human, and infestation would take place whether they consented or not. The statistics of explaining infestation correlated with a high percentage of voluntary Controllers, and even though most Yeerks would shy away from saying outright that they were opposed to involuntary infestation (the ever present threat of treason by sympathy with an alien species), nearly all Yeerks preferred a cooperative host. It was easier to perform your duties to the Yeerk empire without the voice of a host screaming at you during all hours of the day, and often during the night.

It was my personal belief that the voluntary component was a major reason that we had infested most of the Taxxon race. Their host bodies were adept at flying our ships, and their eyesight was certainly superior to a Gedd's, though inferior to a Hork-Bajir. Still, their eternal hunger that was difficult even for a Yeerk to control, even right after feeding on pounds of fresh meat, presented difficulties for most Yeerks. I had heard that at least one of the Council members chose to retain his Taxxon body even after being promoted to his current position on the Council, but most Yeerks associated them with low rank. True, any Yeerk would prefer a Taxxon to no host, but had they not been willing, I doubted that the empire would have taken a large amount of time and resources to infest by means of conquest. Rumor had it that there were still some free Taxxons on their home world, because those preferred hunger over Yeerk control. The fact that they hadn't been taken by force-IF they existed-demonstrated that they weren't valued as much for their capacities as hosts than Hork-Bajir or humans.

I knew that some human hosts had been taken by force. Visser One's human host body, for instance, had never joined The Sharing. At least, no one could recall seeing her at any of the meetings. Other humans had been kidnapped, often children, if a human association (such as a parent) couldn't be persuaded to attend Sharing meetings or become a full member. Still, voluntary infestation was ideal, and even though Visser Three may have been in favor of an all out invasion, Visser One had convinced the Council otherwise, claiming that most humans would join the Yeerks willingly if given a chance. No need to fight an all out war if it wasn't necessary. They had agreed, wanting to preserve the maximum number of humans for hosts, other hosts as weapons, and other resources.

Tom's infestation hadn't exactly gone as planned. He had only been a member for a couple of weeks when the behavior of a pretty teenage girl, who he had joined to impress, alerted him to the gap between full members and trial members. That, and he feared she was romantically involved with a full member. Instead of attempting to speed up the process and become a full member in order to compete, he abruptly burst in on a full members only meeting and came across Visser Three in all of his Andalite host glory. To Tom's credit, it wasn't the alien costume-as he thought it was-that caused him to panic, but the thought speak. As Andalites do not have mouths, they communicate mind to mind. This is actually preferable to the vocal methods of communication, because you can direct your thoughts specifically at those you choose. Humans and Hork-Bajir may be able to modify their volume, but even that doesn't entirely establish privacy.

Once it became clear that a human was sitting in on a Yeerk meeting, the only viable solution was to infest the human. Such were the perils of an invasion by stealth. Tom had attempted to fight back, but by the time I had made my way from the Yeerk Pool to his ear, there had been far more damage to his body than his attackers.

I'd never had a human before, only a Gedd, Taxxon, and Hork-Bajir, in that order. Perhaps it was the fact that the Taxxon had been voluntary and my Hork-Bajir had been VERY involuntary that made me attempt to establish a mutually beneficial relationship with Tom. Not that I was entirely mercenary with my motives. I did feel bad for involuntary hosts, especially since they quickly learned that even if their Yeerk would be moved to another host, they would always be a host to a Yeerk. Minus a few hours every few days, and for the involuntary ones, that time would be spent locked in a cage. Upon seeing Tom's well above Hork-Bajir level of intelligence and very real fear at what had just happened to him, I knew that I did not want him to look at me as an enemy, or view his life as something that had become a nightmare.

It was not entirely altruistic of me. A voluntary host would be easier to control, of course. The circumstances behind Tom's involuntary infestation meant that I had to take extra care if I wanted to "transform" him into a voluntary host. At the same time, I certainly did not want his unhappiness as a burden on myself.

Even though Yeerks were supposed to maintain control of their hosts at all times, I knew that many Yeerks allowed them some degree of freedom. My immediate superior even encouraged this, and when she spoke to humans who were attempting to decide whether or not to become a voluntary host, she would throw this in as a bargaining chip. IF you are voluntary, she basically promised, your Yeerk will trust you enough to have control over your body at times. Since lack of control was one of the main reasons humans hesitated before "allowing" a Yeerk into their head, the promise of allowing Tom some control turned out to be smart at beginning to earn his trust.

It was one that I had made Tom early on, and had no intention of breaking, unless he misused his freedom. With the exception of when I was with my brother Yeerks, there was no need to control Tom's body. It might be more pleasant for me to be the one in charge, but if the exchange was an unhappy host, I could make the trade without complaint. Besides, the fear of losing control over your body was a common one among humans, even those who had never heard of Yeerks. Take old age, for instance.

By the time Tom and I had reached his home, he had not promised to become a voluntary host, but I also trusted him enough to use his body for extended periods of time. I had slipped at one point, taking control without meaning to, and even then, his reaction had been more annoyance than fury. There were things we hadn't discussed yet, such as the "safety" of his family, but he trusted me far more than he had when I had first taken over. Which I saw as encouraging, given that I had only been living in his mind for an hour or so.

After getting himself cleaned up from his being manhandled by his fellow humans and the Hork-Bajir, he opted to rest for awhile. I thought this was a good idea, in part to give him a chance to look over things anew after waking up, and also because it would give me a chance to go through his memories without him feeling as though I were invading his privacy.

Searching a host's memory is not merely a Yeerk's privilege, but for a stealth invasion like this, a duty. I had avoided opening any memories upon first infesting Tom, knowing that in his state, it would be another trauma. He already wasn't happy that I could read all of his thoughts, whether I wanted to be privy to his musings or not. Many Yeerks opened their hosts' memories while they were awake, but whether this was out of ignorance to the potential suffering of their hosts or as a way of displaying power, I didn't know. Since Tom would be sleeping before I would have to interact-or let him interact-with any of his family, it seemed like the best time to get to know my host.

I felt a little guilty about doing this without informing him first. However, he seemed fragile enough that had I told him I would be doing so, he might have dreaded falling asleep. Even if I put it off for awhile, he would still dread its inevitable occurrence. Better to do it now and let him know later, like a vaccination administered to a sleeping child. Better for Tom to be angry about it after the fact than fear it and then be angry-or worse. Even if I allowed Tom control most of the time around his family and friends, it would be irresponsible for me not to have seen all of his memories so that I could act as he would.

Human memories are not chronological, and the order in which they appear does not make any more sense to them than an alien visitor. The first memories I saw were from earlier that day, which I had already seen from his own memory when I first infested him. Entering the room, being taken by first humans and then Hork-Bajir. The fear drowning as his head approached the pool. The disbelief as his body's functions betrayed him as I made my way to the center of his brain. None of which had been present in my previous hosts, because I had not been their first Yeerk.

Seeing it through his eyes gave me a better understanding of what he had experienced earlier. It was one thing to react to a host's emotions and experience of their memories after such a-well, traumatic, at least to them-incident. Another to see it lived out entirely. I couldn't blame my species entirely for reacting as they did. Tom's knowledge of the Yeerks posed a danger to the invasion, even though it was unlikely that many humans would believe his word without proof. Humans claimed alien abduction on a regular basis, and their fellow humans generally treated them as lunatics. Even those who believed in the potential for alien abduction admitted that there was little to no proof that the humans who claimed to be abducted could prove it. Even if Tom had gone to the human newspapers claiming that an alien with stalk eyes had spoken in thoughts to him and the others, and even if it earned a few lines in the next day's newspapers, it would all fade into the background in less than a week.

Still, it wasn't a risk we could afford to take.

Ignoring my discomfort, I searched though my host's less recent memories. It appeared that he had lived in his current house, in a community in California, for all of his fifteen years. The house might be considered small by someone who did not live in such a populated state, but it was consistent in size with his classmates. Moreover, he did not need to share a bedroom with his younger brother. The sense of privacy was important to humans and was present in his values, as-he assumed-it was for most humans of his age, and even those of his parents' age. As we spent all of our time not infested swimming in a pool, surrounded by our siblings, privacy felt like a meaningless concept to me. Not to the extent of being unaware of "taking" Tom's privacy by living in his mind and searching his memories. That would probably feel like an invasion universally, regardless of its necessity. But the physical proximity to others, the need to be near people yet have one's own space, was something that only became more clear as I searched through his thoughts. I supposed that as you learned more about your host, their way of seeing the world became more familiar to you, made sense even if you did not share the same views.

Anyway, Tom was the oldest of two boys, and his family unit consisted of a mother and a father. This was, I noted, fairly similar to the Hork-Bajir family unit, wherein a male and a female chose each other as lifelong mates and produced at least two offspring, and occasionally three, but almost never as many as four. Hork-Bajir didn't live nearly as long as humans or Yeerks, so even with a shorter maturity period and length of gestation for the mother, the shorter lifespan was not conducive to multiple offspring. Especially since there had never been a case of "twins", much less triplets. The shorter lifespan also meant that while female Hork-Bajir may live up to ten years, they ceased being fertile after their fifth. I saw that while human life expectancy was at least seventy years, and although Tom had initially joined The Sharing because he hoped to enter into a romantic relationship with another female, he was not planning on getting married anytime soon. At fifteen, he probably would not have begun searching for a spouse for at least seven more years. Still, it was considered normal for human teenagers to begin dating as a form of recreation, and for some to begin to consider what qualities they would like in a prospective spouse.

While not at The Sharing, Tom spent much of his time at school, with family, or with friends. He did what humans refer to as "hanging out", which I understood to mean spending time together while possibly participating in an additional recreational activity. The primary one, however, was spending time with friends. Tom occasionally "hung out" with his younger brother, who clearly looked up to him, but not with his parents. He "spent time" with his parents, and other family members, and did not mind doing so, but it was not a source of recreation for him. At least, not as a teenager.

Having never had another human host before Tom, I could only interpret what I saw through his own eyes. He saw himself as a regular teen, exceptional only in that he had a gift for basketball. His intelligence, for someone his age with humans as his peers, was average or a little above average. His grades at school were decent because his parents pushed him-and his younger brother-to work hard and get "good grades". In their minds, "good" meant A's and B's, with a "C"-despite the designation as "average"-being a low grade. D's and F's, for obvious reasons, were cause for concern, if not punishment. The form of punishment his parents used on Tom and his brother for bad grades and poor behavior (both of which, I saw, were fairly rare) were "extra" chores and being confined to the house for an extended period of time, with the exception of going to school. This was known as "grounding", and the primary reason it was a punishment-since Tom spent a good portion of his time at home or school anyway-was that it deprived him of social interaction with his peers. While I could understand that this was an inconvenience, it was nothing compared to the Yeerk punishment of Kandrona starvation, removal of parts of a host body, or having one's host body killed by a Hork-Bajir, Taxxon, or Dracon beam. Not that any of those had happened to me, but I knew that they were common enough occurrences within the Yeerk Empire.

As I looked further into his mind, I could see that most of Tom's memories were either positive or neutral. "Neutral" described the academic aspects of his school experience, and I had to agree with him there. Human academics appeared to be very primitive, especially their understanding of math and science. I imagined that were I to infest one of the so-called great mathematicians or scientists of the current age, even their knowledge of the world would be far inferior to that of Yeerks or Andalites. Human intelligence was certainly developed well beyond that of Hork-Bajir, but their technology was frightfully primitive. They had only recently been to their only moon, and while they had sent spaceships out to other planets in their solar system, they knew that these ships would never return to their home planet because they could not be flown by a human. Very primitive.

Still, Tom was clearly sentient, and capable of understanding ideas that once seemed foreign to him. We had learned that the human brain was divided into two segments and that humans often second guessed their actions, even after deciding on a course of action. Tom, for instance, had started out as a fearful involuntary host. My information and reassurances had not exactly made him decide to become voluntary, but they had made him reconsider the idea of me in his head indefinitely as a negative prospect. Were he to officially decide to become voluntary-ideally, before my next trip to the Yeerk Pool-he would probably have doubts about his decision later. Granted, if Tom decided not to be a voluntary host, even if that didn't mean fighting me constantly for control (as my Hork-Bajir had done, despite never succeeding in making me lose my hold on his mind), he would second guess _that_ decision as well.

I hoped that he would opt to become voluntary. I never liked having to assert dominance over hosts, and I knew that few Yeerks really enjoyed it. If Tom could be pacified with control most of the time, I was happy to oblige him in that way. But I knew that there would be other problems. I detected earlier, even if he had not been fully away of it, a fear for his family. Especially his younger brother. He did not know exactly how many Yeerks existed or how many of them needed hosts, but the fact that he had been available to be a host meant that other Yeerks wanted human hosts as well. This meant that his parents and brother were fair game. He assumed that if they were motivated to join The Sharing, by me, they would become Controllers. Since he was still unsure how he felt about his own existence as one, he did not want his family to have to "go through" something similar.

He didn't know how human infestation typically went, but he was more correct than incorrect in thinking that full membership to The Sharing wasn't something you could back out of once you learned about the Yeerks.

So far, he had not said very much about The Sharing to either of his parents, and nothing at all to his younger brother. Nor had what he said done much to promote the group. Tom was not one of those people who joined a group or activity and then attempted to convince all of his friends and family to do so as well. He was not exactly a loner, as I could see from his interactions with his friends. But he was comfortable doing some things on his own, and even though he had joined The Sharing to spend more time with the young female member of his species, he was also aware of their promise of meeting other people and making new friends.

Since the topic of his family would probably come up within the next three days, I had to make a decision. After some pondering, I settled on the one that made the most sense. Tom was a full member now, so he would be going to Sharing meetings-along with "meetings" that were essentially just visits to the Yeerk Pool for me to feed-fairly regularly. It was my duty to maintain his cover, and if promoting The Sharing was not something he would have done normally, there would be no cause for alarm (in his family) if I continued to not promote it. I would mention my participation in it, perhaps invite Jake to an event for other people who were not full members and no infestation was likely to occur. If anyone from his family became interested in becoming a full member-and I suspected that the person most likely to do that would be Jake, who, ironically, was the one Tom was the most concerned about-I would use whatever reasonable means were necessary to ensure that this person received a decent Yeerk.

Not that this would be very difficult. Most Yeerks preferred voluntary hosts, and even though there was the odd one who enjoyed torturing and breaking their host, you would be unlikely to find more than a handful of those in a pool of siblings. If it came down to overseeing the infestation of Jake, and it probably would be be because he was my host's brother, I would find a Yeerk who would be decent to him.

Still, it was hardly as immediate a concern as, which I mentioned earlier, gaining Tom's cooperation and, ideally, his trust. I waited until he woke up on his own to decide what my next move in this operation would be.

A/N: A little darker than I had intended, but rest assured, Terlin's trustworthy, even though he's not in the Peace Movement. Please take a minute and leave me your thoughts on this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Tom**

I woke up to the sound of my mom's voice calling me to dinner. My eyes opened automatically, first registering that it was after 6:00, and then that the darkness (typical for a fall day) meant it was 6:00 in the evening, not in the morning. At first, confusion hit me, since I only napped during the day if I was sick. Then, the events of the last few hours came back to me, and everything became clear. I immediately wondered if I had opened my eyes or the alien had, and as I tried-and succeeded-to get up, relief flooded me as it registered that I was still in control of my body.

I could still feel his presence in the back of my mind. Which is where I would be, metaphorically speaking, had he taken charge. If he was going to take control. No, not if, _when_. Because even if the alien-the Yeerk-kept his word about giving me freedom to move my body-which in and of itself was something I had completely taken for granted up until my infestation-he'd need to take it back when he was with the other Yeerks at The Sharing, and when he went to feed at the hellish Yeerk Pool. Possibly more, if I didn't agree to cooperate with him.

Those thoughts weren't nearly as pleasant as my realization that I could still move on my own. In fact, they kind of soured the whole experience.

Still, I was in control now, and the Yeerk-Tellin? Temrin? Tillin?-was keeping to himself. It was a him, right? Anyway, I could feel his emotions, maybe distant echoes of his thoughts if I tried hard enough. Even when he wasn't speaking or taking control, he was still there. It felt so weird, so _alien._

I left my bed and exchanged my t-shirt for a long sleeved one. My parents would notice my face and ask about that, and I would say something about a bike accident. Which could explain the marks on my arms, but still...Afterwards, I headed downstairs, aware that my Yeerk could take control again at any minute. Maybe he should. He could play me as well as I could, and at the moment, I didn't feel like myself. Weird, that a body stealing alien could play a better you than you could.

(Do you want me to take control?) he asked me.

(NO!) I practically yelled, panicking.

I could feel him wince. (All right, Tom. I won't. I promise.)

The words were reassuring, and I felt bad for snapping. (Sorry,) I told him.

(No need for that. This is all new to you,) he said, kindly. Then, (But I appreciate the thought. By the way, my name is Terlin.)

(Right.) I tried to give a mental nod without it translating into an actual nod. (Okay, Terlin.)

I saw my parents in the kitchen, engaged in some discussion about my dad's work. They turned when they heard me enter, smiling. Not looking suspicious or surprised, I thought, just happy to see me.

"Tom! What happened to your face?" Mom asked me, getting closer to inspect the damage. I was glad that she couldn't see my arms.

"Fell off my bike," I explained. "You know, idiots who can't give us a decent amount of space..."

Ordinarily, my mom or dad would have frowned at my use of the word "idiot", but they let it go. Mom inspected my face closely, and apparently deciding that I would survive, let the topic drop with a mere, "Well, I'm glad you're okay."

Okay, Mom gave me a big hug, something I ordinarily tolerated without reciprocating, but this time I squeezed back. What can I say? Aliens were making me go soft. Anyway, she smiled at my response, and Dad nodded at me with his own smile.

"How'd your day go?" she asked me. "I guess you didn't hear us come in?"

I shrugged. "School was school. I became a full member of The Sharing afterward, which was exhausting. Napped a little afterwards. I woke up when I heard you calling me for dinner."

My dad chuckled. "Your mom's meals can certainly do that."

Mom rolled her eyes at Dad. "I'm pretty sure he meant my voice."

"Maybe," Dad conceded. "So, what's this about The Sharing? I don't recall you mentioning it before."

I took a seat at the table, followed by my dad. "Community thing. It's for all ages. They do a lot of activities, plus community service events. The people are pretty nice. Anyway, you have to go to a bunch of meetings before they decide if they want you to become a full member. I made it, so I took them up on it."

Okay, so part of it was not the full truth, but I didn't want to make it sound like it was super easy to join. If I told them the truth-minus the alien part-they might end up getting sucked in and finding themselves hosts to Yeerks. Better for them to think it was this drawn out application process.

"That's great, sweetie." Mom put two plates of food down in front of us before sitting down. Chicken, some mixed veggies, and mashed potatoes. "Just don't spread yourself too thin. You have school, and basketball, and now this."

I began eating. "Yeah, but this will look good when I apply for college, so it's like an extracurricular."

"Your mom's right, though. Your grades are important, especially in high school. And you have a real talent for basketball. Everyone says so. Just don't get too bogged down." Dad put a hand on my shoulder. "It's good that you're going to be a part of a community organization, Tom. We're proud of you."

Mom nodded encouragingly.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, and then I spoke up. "Hey, where's Jake?"

"He went to his friend Marco's house to work on some school project. At least, that's what he said when he phoned," Mom explained.

"Given that it's a Friday night, I bet this assignment involves the playing of video games," Dad laughed. "He didn't take a change of clothes or anything, so he's not spending the night."

Mom shrugged. "He can borrow something of Marco's if he decides to stay. I told him to call me if he was going to be later than 10, or if he was going to spend the night there."

"He's got his bike?" I asked, between bites of chicken.

"Yeah, or Marco's dad can drive him," she confirmed. "Tom, do you have any plans tonight?"

I shook my head. "Some homework, but nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. Mostly studying related," I replied.

To be perfectly honest, Sundays were when I tended to do my schoolwork, and it was usually closer to Sunday night than during the day. Maybe Saturday night if it was a huge assignment. I wasn't a huge procrastinator, but I never saw the point of starting the weekend on the wrong foot.

I could hear Terlin laugh at my insight, and I almost jumped when I realized that I had-at least for a few minutes-forgotten that he was still there.

Fortunately, my parents didn't notice anything.

"I was thinking that we could have a movie night," Mom explained. "Your dad and I rented this movie that just came out on video. It's a little too mature for Jake, but you're old enough to handle it."

"Mature...how?" I asked.

"Rated R, but for violence," Dad explained. "Personally, I'd have given it a strong PG-13. So, what do you say, Tom? You up for it?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Do we have any popcorn?"

"I'll check after we finish eating," Mom said.

They talked a little about Dad's day at work-he's a doctor-which I tuned out, as usual. This time, it was less because I wasn't interested and more because I was focusing on the Yeerk in my head. I could tell that he was taking everything in around me. Getting a better idea of what my life was like in the event that he chose to take it over completely. But no, there was more than that. I remembered him saying that Yeerks were blind without hosts, and I was his first human. So, maybe he was just fascinated by all of the human senses that I just took as a given.

It wasn't something I had thought much about before. Sure, I had felt a little bad for Terlin when he said that Yeerks couldn't see and could barely hear without host bodies. But at the time, I had been a prisoner in my mind. It was one thing to believe in aliens, and another to have one inside of your head.

Now, back in control and feeling a little more comfortable with the whole situation, I could imagine what a change it must be for my Yeerk. In fact, he might even be happy that I was in control, not just for the sake of getting me to cooperate with his being in my head, but because it gave him more time to comprehend his new life in my head.

(That's true,) he said, responding to my observations. (Taxxons, Gedds, and Hork-Bajir all have similar lives, especially upon infestation. Given that most humans don't know about us and we want to keep it that way for as long as possible, there are advantages to having time to observe. Human lives seem to vary greatly on this planet.)

(Sort of,) I agreed. (Especially in different parts of the world. The language and traditions vary, for one thing. But there are definitely universals. Like school for kids, and work for the adults. The nice thing about being an adult is getting to choose what you want to do for a job. Also, being able to leave it if you decide to do something else.)

(We Yeerks don't have that luxury,) Terlin noted. (When you are part of an empire, you serve your superiors by doing what they tell you, or you starve in three days' time.)

(There are part of this planet where it's like that,) I pointed out. (We call them second and third world countries.)

(Visser One's initially landed in one of those regions,) Terlin told me. (But she, and the Council, thought it would be better to start in the United States.)

(Council?)

(Council of Thirteen. The highest and most respected level of command. Twelve of the Council members serve as, well, member of the Council. The thirteenth one-and only the other twelve know who that is-is the Emperor. Rumor has it that he has the majority of the power. But it's mere speculation, especially among Yeerks with my rank. We obey the commands of our immediate sub-visser, but Visser Three is the highest ranked Yeerk on Earth, and he is overseeing things with The Sharing.)

(He's the guy who actually looked like an alien? The one who communicated with his mind?) I asked Terlin.

(Yes. He has an Andalite host, and is the only Yeerk to have one. Andalites are actively fighting against us because they do not want us to have any hosts, not even Gedds.) He sent me the image of something resembling a human monkey. (Those are what we used on our home planet until they arrived. They are about as intelligent as your human monkeys, and we used them as our primary hosts before encountering the Andalites. Anyway, the visser was able to capture an Andalite of reasonably high rank, at least in Andalite society, and infested him. This contributed to his now very high rank.) Terlin shuddered. (He's very smart, but very ruthless. He's murdered many.)

I wondered how many Terlin had killed, and why he was telling me all of this, especially since he wanted me to be voluntary.

(I'm telling you this because you have a right to know what's going on. There are many Yeerks who are power hungry, who mistreat their hosts and would certainly kill other Yeerks for a small promotion. I am not like that, as I hope you will see firsthand, but I cannot shield you entirely from some of my things my species does. As you saw before you were infested,) he added, sending me an image of the Yeerk Pool and the cages.

I didn't respond directly, but Terlin could hear my thoughts, sense my conflicted emotions. While I appreciated not being lied to, I also wondered if it would have been better had I not known right away. Then again, why put off the inevitable?

Which meant that I should probably ask what had been on the edge of my mind since Terlin entered my head.

(I'm guessing that there are more Yeerks who don't have hosts who want humans. What are you going to do about my family?)

It was, I realized, somewhat of a dare. Terlin had to know that if his odds of me cooperating with him, of welcoming him back into my head after he fed every three days at the Yeerk Pool, were less than high, they'd become practically nothing if he was going to be responsible for my entire family going through that. Especially with one of the crueler Yeerks.

Terlin's tone changed from teacher delivering information to one that I expected a Yeerk to use when comforting a scared human teenager. (I've given that some thought. I know that your feelings towards me are ambivalent at this point, and you certainly don't want something potentially worse to happen to your loved ones. As a Yeerk, my primary duty is playing your role as you would, so that I can impersonate you without suspicion.) At my nonverbal protest, he added, (Whether it's you in control most of the time or me is not the point. Not to my sub-visser, who will not know how much control I allow you to have. I am merely saying that keeping things normal is the main priority.) He paused.

(Go ahead,) I requested, hoping I understood where this was going, but not trusting myself entirely to be hopeful about what Terlin was telling me.

(Since you hadn't mentioned The Sharing to your family or friends before today, there's no reason to make that a focal point of your life. I, or you, may have to issue an invitation to participate in a Sharing activity at some point...but that's it.)

(So, you won't go after them to become hosts to some cruel Yeerk?)

(No, Tom, I promise.) He paused before adding, (Now, should any of them become interested in joining and wish to complete the full membership process...I cannot exactly tell them not to without drawing attention to us.) I let that sink in, disheartened. (In that event, I will do whatever I can to ensure that the Yeerk assigned to them is a decent one. Yeerks often do these sorts of favors for friends.)

(Do you know many decent Yeerks?) I asked. Maybe it sounded rude, but this was my family's freedom and sanity we were talking about.

Terlin laughed a little. (Well, we don't exactly sit around in the Pool and discuss that. But you can usually tell which Yeerk is decent to their host and which Yeerk isn't. Someone who complains about having to silence a screaming host, someone who asks about discipline techniques...those are what you humans would call "red flags". More often, a Yeerk who doesn't say anything, or is glad to have a voluntary host, is someone who can be trusted.)

(Then, it's not a science, but you can take a pretty good stab at it,) I confirmed.

Not exactly comforting. I mean, Jake could go to one too many Sharing meetings and find himself leaving with this horrible torturer in his brain. I'd never forgive myself if that happened. Or Terlin. Which he knew.

(Yes. For now, though, your family is safe. What you said earlier about The Sharing membership being a long process...that was smart. Based on your memories, they didn't seem like the type to want to join anyway, but your comment further deterred them.)

It took a minute before it sunk in. (You went through my memories when I was sleeping.)

(Yes. Now, please don't be angry. It was something that I had to do at some point, and I thought it would be better for you if you were sleeping.)

(You could have warned me,) I complained.

(Would you have been able to sleep had I done so?) His reply wasn't snarky, just practical. Okay, and I could feel some concern, even some worry, in it.

(I guess not.) I cringed visibly-outwardly, I was still in full control. That realization softened the blow a little. Okay, it was still a total invasion of privacy, but I could, logically, understand why Terlin had to do it. Why he had done it when he had. In his own way, he was trying to protect me. Make things easier for me.

Still, it hurt.

He didn't say anything, probably aware of how I felt. I was quiet for awhile, and tried to focus my attention on the outside world. The popcorn in front of me. The movie. My parents.

After a half an hour or so, I "spoke" again.

(How often do you have to do that?)

(A full memory search? Once. Strictly speaking, whenever I need information from you, I am supposed to obtain it from your memory. Likewise, I am supposed to search your memories after I reinfest you after swimming in the Yeerk Pool.)

(Please. Don't.) It was the closest I came to begging.

A rush of emotions, mostly concern and some fear. (All right.)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far. I hope you will continue to do so, including with this one! :)


	4. Chapter 4

I gave a mental nod. (Okay.)

Maybe it was because of our mind to mind connection. Granted, I couldn't read Terlin's thoughts the way he could with mine, but I could feel his emotions, and I hoped that translated into knowing if he was telling the truth or not. He hadn't lied to me about going through my memories, so I believed that he wouldn't go through them again.

It occurred to me that if he did-while I was asleep-I probably wouldn't have any way of knowing.

The thing was, I wanted to trust him. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. I knew that I would be stuck with him, or another Yeerk, as long as they were on this planet. The thought was depressing, but it helped that Terlin had been decent to me so far. I could understand that the whole situation was bizarre, something I never could have imagined except maybe in a science fiction movie. Aliens were real, and one of them was living in my head. He could control me whenever he wanted, but for most of the time he'd been living in my head, he was choosing not to exercise this power.

Because, I assumed, he cared about me and how I felt about the new living arrangement.

At the very least, Terlin cared about gaining my cooperation. It was easy to see that he had all of the power, but he wasn't keeping me in the dark about what was going on, and, like I said, his treatment of me so far had been decent.

It occurred to me that his situation wasn't exactly something to be envied. Not just because in his natural state he was basically blind and helpless, but because he was suddenly expected to live in someone who could end up hating him. It wasn't Terlin's fault that he had been born as a parasitic slug, in need of a host to reside in for any quality of life. It also wasn't his fault that his government was apparently corrupt and if you ticked off the wrong people, you would die. Sure, he could probably just opt out of taking a host. There had to be lots more Yeerks who didn't have hosts than ones who did. At least, right now. But, if he left me, I'd just get another Yeerk, and I wasn't naive enough to think that they were all decent.

I also suspected that he was bending the rules by promising me to try and keep my family safe. As safe as was possible during this secretive, but clearly widespread, invasion. I wondered if there weren't enough Yeerks for all of humanity to be at risk for eventual infestation. I mean, there were nearly six billion of us, and I had learned in one of my classes that our population was only continuing to grow. Whether or not the population would expand to the point where the planet could no longer support us was another issue entirely, but we were definitely expanding in numbers faster than we had ever been before, at least according to my history teacher. Whatever the population of the Yeerk empire was, I didn't think it was in the billions, yet.

(No, we're closer to forty million, and most of us do not reproduce. The ones who do die throughout the process, and approximately three hundred young Yeerks are born in their stead. It takes three Yeerks to reproduce,) Terlin informed me, taking on the tone he used when he acted as a teacher.

(How do you die through giving birth?) I had an imagine of a string of small slugs passing through a regular Yeerk as though they were in a line. Maybe giving birth to so many at once stressed the body to the point that it couldn't recover.

(Three Yeerks merge to create a sort of "supersized" Yeerk, and that Yeerk breaks off into hundreds of offspring. Grubs, as we call them. By the end of the process, the bodies of the three Yeerks have become the hundreds of bodies of a new Yeerk.)

I frowned. (And that's it? No more parent Yeerks?)

(There's a Yeerk legend of the first ten grubs who could detect their parents' presence and communicate, briefly, before the parents lose that ability entirely. But it's probably just a myth. Yeerk memories don't go back that far, and given the amount of Yeerks in a pool at any given time, if there was communication going on between the grubs and their parents, other Yeerks would have detected it.) Terlin shrugged. (The older Yeerks in the pool take the time to teach the young...a sort of "it takes a village" mentality. And the Yeerk grubs are very close with their siblings, much the way humans are. However, those who were born close in proximity usually have stronger emotional bonds.)

It was a lot to process. An entire species who didn't have parents, yet somehow established closed relationships with each other. Or, as close as you could be when you were in competition for a host that would give you a better life.

(The competition for a host doesn't quite set in until after training begins,) Terlin protested. (Until then, Yeerks don't really know dissatisfaction with their surroundings, because it's all they've ever known. You wouldn't feel that you were at a disadvantage because you couldn't fly, for instance.)

(Well, no, but no human can fly,) I pointed out.

(Exactly. It's much the same way with us. We know from a young age that we're parasites and capable of receiving a body and, with that, many other senses that we cannot accurately describe until we have experienced them. But we don't consider ourselves as handicapped or living a substandard life simply because we haven't experienced them yet. After training, though, there's certainly more incentive for some to receive and retain a host.)

(All Yeerks go through training?)

(Correct.)

(What does that mean, exactly?)

I had in my mind an image of a classroom setting, with Yeerks swimming around listening to some sort of instructor, who explained the types of aliens they had conquered and how best to subdue each one. Then, they probably had a few on hand for Yeerks to infest, only for short periods of time, and release for the next Yeerk to take over.)

It sounded awful.

(It's a bit like that,) Terlin admitted. (Usually, it's Gedds, and they're old ones who are not much use as permanent hosts. Each Yeerk has about fifteen minutes to enter the Gedd, take control, and explore the mind and the senses before it's the next Yeerk's turn. But the mind of the Gedd is about as advanced as the mind of a monkey, and they have been used as a host for so long that this transfer from one Yeerk to the next rarely bothers them.)

I had trouble believing that, but having never met a Gedd, it was possible that Terlin was telling the truth.

(Think humans are going to end up like that?)

Terlin winced. (I hope not. It won't happen anytime soon. Gedds were used for hosts for thousands of years before the idea of training began. That was after the Yeerk Empire started.)

I hoped he was right. The idea of myself or my family being taken hostage and used as training hosts for hundreds, maybe thousands, of unexperienced Yeerks (was unexperienced better than experienced?) sounded like my own personal hell.

(You're my host, if that helps, and all humans who receive Yeerks receive them as hosts. The Yeerk may be reassigned, but humans do not get passed to Yeerks without reason,) he told me, gently.

I was quiet for awhile, and tried to focus on the movie. I could feel Terlin concentrate on the film as well. Given that neither of us had paid much attention during the past hour or so, a lot of what was going on went over our heads. Eventually, I gave it up as a lot cause, and turned my attention back to my Yeerk.

(Did you talk to your previous hosts a lot?) I asked him, wanting to steer the topic onto something that felt safe. Well, safer.

(My Taxxon host the most,) Terlin responded. (Taxxons are quite intelligent, but their eternal hunger makes it nearly impossible for them to focus on anything aside from that. When a Yeerk is in control, it takes over not simply the body's functions, but the receptors in the brain that allow the host to feel pain and pleasure. Not completely. A host is still aware of being in pain, or the pleasure of eating a favorite food...that sort of thing. But most of the senses belong to the Yeerk. This is particularly beneficial for Taxxons, because of their fierce hunger. Once I, or one of my brother Yeerks, are in charge, they can focus on other matters. Many are quite communicative towards their Yeerks.)

(They probably see you as a welcome guest who takes away that pain,) I guessed.

(Exactly. We are left to deal with the physical condition of their species, but a voluntary mind almost makes it worth it,) he confirmed. (Taxxons are the ones who fly the planes, because their bodies are adept at controlling the ships' computers with their fast reflexes, and some assist their Yeerks in decision making while in flight. Or, so I've heard.)

(You had a Gedd and a Hork-Bajir, too?)

Terlin gave a mental nod. (Yes. Gedds, as I told you before, are barely sentient, and not capable of much original thought. But they were the most complex form of life on our home world, so we utilized them as hosts long before the Andalites invaded our planet. They are not intelligent enough to fully understand the concept of Yeerk control, they have similar emotions as most sentiment creatures. We attempt to make them happy in their current state without subjecting their mind to domination. But, they're not exactly able to converse with us on an intellectual level.)

(And the Hork-Bajir?)

Terlin gave a mental frown. (Smarter that Gedds. They have a spoken language and a culture. Their intelligence would be equal to that of a human toddler. Perhaps a three or four year old. Very basic, able to understand that they are not in control of their bodies when a Yeerk is present, and generally not happy about it. Yeerks cannot usually reason with them or promise control in exchange for good behavior-)

(The way you would with humans,) I interrupted.

(Well, yes,) Terlin admitted. (So, they often try to take control and fail to understand why they cannot, except that it's because of the Yeerk. So, most of them hate Yeerks for that reason alone. But, there are a small handful of voluntary Hork-Bajir. I am not entirely sure how that came to be. Those aren't exactly more intelligent than the others, but perhaps they were conditioned to accept their Yeerk better. We don't infest the youth of a species because it's too problematic with body development, so Hork-Bajir do have memories of not being with a Yeerk. Perhaps, some receive a first Yeerk who is particularly kind, and they do not have a negative association with Yeerk control.)

I couldn't say that made a ton of sense, but it sounded like Terlin didn't understand it completely either. At any rate, he was no longer in a Hork-Bajir, and I got the sense that he was happy about this. Even if I wasn't covered with blades for battle, I didn't have eternal hunger to deal with, and I had the potential to be voluntary. No wonder Terlin was trying to be nice to me.

(It's not strictly pragmatic, Tom,) he interjected. (I am living in your head, so I am seeing your memories and hearing your thoughts and emotions. I'm not you, of course, but it's easy to see how you see the world. I care about your wellbeing. Especially when you can comprehend this more fully than my other hosts. I do want us to develop an understanding, even a friendship. If that means allowing you control of your body for most of the time and doing what I can to prevent your family from becoming hosts to unsympathetic Yeerks, I am certainly willing to do that.)

(Thanks, I guess.) I appreciated his saying this, and reminded myself that it wasn't like he had had much of a choice in the whole infestation process. I reminded myself that I could probably do far worse as far as Yeerks went. With having full access to your body and mind, the ways to make a human mind suffer were pretty much infinite. And it wasn't like the Yeerk had to use much in the way of imagination. Just play back your worst memories for awhile...not that I had a whole lot of those, but there were things that I'd done and said that were embarrassing, hurtful. People had hurt me too, in the past, whether they meant to or not. You could probably make someone miserable just with playing those events back, and mocking them.

(I won't hurt you, Tom,) Terlin promised, sensing my unease at the tools of misery available to him. Just because he didn't use them didn't mean he wouldn't. (I'm not a torturer.)

I believed him. The knowledge that I believed him gave me a sense of comfort, of reassurance. Terlin may have looked at my memories when I'd been sleeping, but he hadn't shown me anything from my past I had wanted to forget. He hadn't taunted me or taken full control on purpose, except when he'd had to. He seemed decent enough, so far.

Still, I was glad that it would be another two and a half days before we'd head back to the Yeerk Pool, and my decision would be official.

Jake arrived home about a half hour after the movie ended. My parents and I were still sitting in the living room, munching on leftover popcorn and starting on some brownies that Mom had made during the credits. Mom wasn't exactly a Mrs. Cleaver from Leave It to Beaver, but she did like cooking meals and desserts for us, and while she wasn't a stay at home mom-she worked as a freelance writer-I guessed her schedule allowed for her to be more domestic than some of my other friends' moms.

To be honest, it was probably something that Jake and I had taken for granted most of our life.

"Hi, honey," said Mom, looking up from her chair. "Want to join us for a snack?"

Jake eyed the popcorn and brownies with the unending stomach of a new teenager. "Sure. I'll just grab a plate and some milk from the kitchen." He started to go, then added, "You guys want anything?"

"Milk sounds good, Midget," I told him, feeling the chocolate coating on my tongue, mixed with the salt, and suddenly longing for a cool glass of milk to wash it down. Before helping myself to more, of course.

Jake rolled his eyes at the nickname, and turned to my parents. Mom and Dad both decided that milk would be good, and Mom followed Jake into the kitchen to get hers and Dad's, since he only had two hands and she was worried about him spilling.

A few minutes later, we were all seated in the living room, me and Dad on matching comfortable chairs that had been in the house for as long as I could remember, and Mom and Jake on an equally old but comfortable couch.

Just a nice, quiet evening with a family hanging out and eating junk food.

Well, the milk was healthy.

Terlin laughed in my mind at the last observation, but other than that, he stayed quiet. I guessed he was still observing my world.

I decided to turn in an hour later. It wasn't super late, only around 10:30, but in spite of my nap earlier, I was tired and looking forward to a good night's sleep. Jake followed my lead, and my parents decided that turning in early (for them) probably wouldn't hurt any. I headed to the bathroom to check on my face and brush my teeth.

The bruising around my face had definitely gotten worse, but I'd had enough bike mishaps to know that this was normal. I pulled up the sleeves of my shirt to check my arms, and they also looked bruised, but not infected. I hoped. Despite what Terlin had said earlier, I wasn't entirely sure that a cut from an alien wouldn't warrant some sort of tetanus shot.

(They often cause minor injuries to unruly involuntary hosts at the Yeerk Pool,) Terlin told me. (From what I've heard, the cuts heal without a trip to the hospital.)

I frowned at this information. (On purpose?)

(No. It's just that some humans try to escape, and the guards have to prevent that without delaying the infestation process. Now, I know that doesn't make it right, and their Yeerks often have words with the guards later. Bruising on humans always looks suspect, and even if the Yeerk doesn't care about the host personally, it's a hassle to be tending to cuts a few times a week.)

It occurred to me that, even if I was involuntary, Terlin would probably take offense if the guards mistreated me at the Pool. The emotions that I felt from him when I realized this-namely, warmness and a sense of protectiveness-confirmed my suspicions.

A feeling of warmth, of affection for Terlin, spread over me then. Briefly, but it was there.

I washed my face and arms again before brushing my teeth. I was sort of dreading getting undressed with Terlin being there, but at some point, I'd have to change my clothes, even if I decided to sleep in them from now on. Not to mention the whole showering and going to the bathroom with him watching. Which, I realized, I had to do now. I could feel my cheeks warm with embarrassment as I realized that he'd be there to see all of that. I just stood there, dreading my next move.

(I've never had a human host before, Tom, but many first time humans have these concerns. They're normal body functions, and we don't find them to be strange. It may be awkward at first, but you'll soon get used to it.)

(Couldn't you just leave my head instead while I do all that?) I asked, hopefully.

Terlin sighed. He knew that there was only a 50-50 chance that I would let him back in. If that.

(Okay.) I took a deep breath. (Here goes nothing.)

A few minutes later, I was washing my hands and my face was still red. Okay, Terlin hadn't done or said anything during the whole time, but the whole situation was uncomfortable enough. But it wasn't like i could go without performing basic bodily functions daily, so I just hoped that he was right and I would get used to it.

I changed out of my clothes and into my PJs as quickly as I could, and not looking in the mirror. Normally, I would have showered before bed, but enough was enough for one day. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over me before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to come.

Except, it wouldn't. Despite being tired. I shifted my position in the bed, hoping that would help, but I just turned back on my right side a few minutes later. I moved the pillows around. That helped. A little. Not enough. I sighed.

(It's often difficult for a host to sleep in the beginning,) Terlin consoled me.

(It wasn't earlier,) I grumbled, shifting my body again.

(You were exhausted, and very stressed. In addition, your mind needed an escape from what had happened to you.) His voice was soft. (Things feel a little more normal now, so there's no immediate need for escape, and you are adjusting to an unfamiliar situation.)

That made sense, but it didn't help me fall asleep any faster.

(Just try to relax,) Terlin urged. (Deep breaths and whatnot.)

Ten minutes and about a million breaths later, I was still wide awake.

(Sorry,) I said.

Terlin gave a mental shrug. (At least you don't have to worry about school tomorrow.)

(Yeah, I'll just walk around like a zombie at home. No biggie,) I grumbled. (Hey, do Yeerks sleep?)

(Not in the same way our hosts do. Some of us rest in the pool, especially if we have an involuntary host and are experiencing a lot of stress from this. But if our host bodies receive enough sleep, we also do, by default. And, of course, a host's mind can be resting while the Yeerk is utilizing the body.) Sensing my confusion, he explained, (For instance, earlier, you were tired and took a nap. Had that been impossible, and I had I been in control, you still could have done that, but only in your mind. The exhaustion would have rendered your mind unconscious, and you might have even dreamed. Your physical body would still be active if I retained control.)

(But as I'm in control, that can't happen now, without my falling asleep.)

(I believe so. I'm not in expert in human biology, but I've heard stories of it happening.)

I yawned, and I could feel my eyes grow heavy. (Maybe this talk about sleeping is working, after all.)

After a minute, perhaps as Terlin scanned my head and did an examination of the state of my consciousness, he gave a mental nod. (I believe so.)

Before sleep claimed me completely, I heard him say, (Sweet dreams.)


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning feeling a little disoriented at hearing Terlin's voice in my head, but then remembered what had happened the previous day. I let out a deep breath of relief when I realized that I had full control over my body. He laughed a little at my reaction.

(I promised to give you control most of the time,) he chided me, gently.

(It's still weird, though. Especially with you in my head,) I half complained as I got up. (I know, I know, you can't help it.)

(Soon enough, this will all feel like second nature,) Terlin promised.

(Yeah, well, I'm still in the freaking out stage because there's an alien living in my head stage,) I retorted, but smiled.

Terlin sighed. (It's times like this when it would have benefited me, and you by extension, had I had other human hosts,) Terlin told me. (The statistics of how long it takes voluntary humans to adjust completely are probably available, but real life stories would feel more...applicable.)

I noted Terlin's use of the term "voluntary". Maybe he was trying to persuade me in this subtle way, help me have my mind made up before we returned to the Yeerk Pool in two days. Of course, it could be that involuntary hosts didn't ever really adjust, and regardless of whether I would have agreed to infestation had I been given the choice, "voluntary" probably more accurately described the current situation better than "involuntary". I mean, the fact that he hadn't had to take control by force had to mean that I was, at the very least, cooperating.

(Guess we'll learn hands on,) I told him. (Is that something I can ask others about? If I end up with the voluntary hosts?)

I wanted to make it clear that, in this, I still had a choice.

Terlin didn't seem perturbed by my remark, but as he'd been following my train of thought, there was no reason that he would have been.

(Of course. They may not want to reveal everything to you, all at once, but I don't think it would be a taboo question,) he responded.

I headed to the bathroom. (I need to take a shower,) I told him. (Is this going to be weird?)

Terlin hesitated before responding. (Maybe less uncomfortable than going to the bathroom.)

I rolled my eyes. (If you weren't in my head, I'd just ask you to close your eyes until I finished.)

(If I weren't in your head, there would be no need to ask, as I wouldn't be able to see,) Terlin replied dryly.

Another eye roll on my part.

I knocked on the door to make sure that Jake wasn't there-my parents had their own bathroom, but the two of us shared one-and after waiting a few minutes without hearing any reply, I (well, we) headed inside.

I pulled off my pajamas and threw them in the hamper that my mom emptied at least once a day. Turned on the water and waited for it to warm up enough to go inside. Then, headed in with the determined mindset I used before starting my science homework.

Terlin was quiet, keeping his thoughts to himself. I kept my mind on the tasks at hand, and given his silence, I could almost pretend I didn't have someone watching me. About ten minutes later, I emerged from the shower, wrapped a towel around myself before combing out my now clean hair and brushing my teeth. It wasn't until I was back in my room and getting dressed that Terlin spoke to me again.

(That was a little like being back in the Yeerk Pool,) he told me, a little wistfully.

(Yeah?) I asked, grabbing a shirt from my dresser. (How so?)

(Oh, the warm water, mostly,) he told me. (Of course, when we feed, we're always with hundreds of other Yeerks, but the water itself is very warm, and the rays from the Kandrona feel a bit like your sun feels on a warm day.)

I chewed on my lip. (You'd probably like swimming,) I told him. (Of course, unless the pool is heated, the water is pretty cold, but your body-well, the human body-gets used to it pretty quickly. And there are usually other people there with you.)

Terlin could see some of my memories of going to pool parties and swimming on family trips.

(Yes, that is more similar,) he told me, giving me a mental smile.

We headed downstairs for breakfast, which Mom had already started. Dad was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper in his pajamas and a bathrobe, and Jake was already wolfing some some pancakes, also in his pajamas. It occurred to me that I could have prolonged the awkwardness by going downstairs in mine, but at least that was out of the way.

"Good morning, honey," Mom said, as she heard me approach. "Sleep well?"

"Pretty well," I told her, taking a seat next to Jake. "I'm starved."

Dad laughed. "You and your brother eat enough for five people. But you're teenagers, so I guess that's to be expected."

Mom placed a plate of pancakes and eggs in front of me, giving the top of my head a quick peck. "That should get your started," she told me. She glanced at my face carefully. "Still a little bruised, but I guess that's normal."

"Let me take a look." Dad, being the doctor, removed his eyes from the paper to inspect me. "Should be fine in a couple of days."

That seemed to satisfy Mom, but then Jake chirped up. "What happened, Tom?"

I shrugged. "Oh, just fell off my bike on my way home yesterday."

"Ouch. Does it hurt?"

I shook my head and smiled at him. "Not anymore."

That seemed to satisfy him, and we had an ordinary breakfast.

Afterwards, Jake and I shot hoops for awhile. Jake was getting pretty good, and I knew that he was hoping to make the team when tryouts were held next week.

"Think I got a chance?" he asked, hopefully.

"Sure," I told him.

Thing was, I didn't know what his competition was like, or how many people from his grade got chosen. He was good, sure, but he might be competing against kids who were amazing. Or, he might be the best in his class. I didn't know, and I wasn't going to say anything either way. I could tell that it meant a lot to Jake, because he looked up to me, and I didn't want to tell him anything that would either give him false hope or give up completely. He just had to keep working hard at it, and the rest would be up to the coach.

Him making the team would also mean he would have less free time. So, even though he would soon find out that I was a full member of The Sharing, he would be less likely to want to stretch himself thin if he was already busy with school and the team.

I was beginning to wonder how I was going to do it all. I knew that Sharing meetings were at least once a week, but trips to the Yeerk Pool would take away a couple more afternoons, or evenings. I didn't know how long Terlin had to feed when he was there, but the whole thing would have to take at least two hours. If I agreed to become voluntary, would it just become another place to study?

I'd known that full members spent more time at The Sharing than associate members, which is what I had been up until yesterday afternoon. But getting to know Alison had kept me from really thinking through the whole time commitment issue. I guess I figured that I would score a date with her before having to become a full member.

(You're forgetting that you'll have to spend far less time on homework.) Terlin's voice brought me out of my memory, and I was so surprised that I almost replied out loud. I stopped myself just in time, which was good because he would have had to have taken control.

(Because all the teachers are Controllers and they're required to give us all A's?) I joked.

He laughed. (Some of them are, but not exactly. I mean...and please don't take offense...but I can help you with your schoolwork.) Seeing my confusion, but no anger or affront to his words, Terlin continued. (Especially subjects like math and science. I can explain it in such a way that it takes far less time to comprehend, and you'll have to put far less time into those classes than you normally would. You can't suddenly become a straight A student, because it would look too suspicious, but maybe your grades can improve a little. Anyway, your work load won't be a problem.)

(Is that because you're in my mind and when we're at class, you can explain things better than the teachers can?) I wondered.

(That, and Yeerk technology has far surpassed that of humans. With aid from the Andalites,) he added. (Nearly all Yeerks, even those without hosts, could pass any math or science test at an Ivy League college without having to study beforehand. So, we can certainly help our hosts-well, the humans-understand easier math and science without wasting hours studying.)

(The advantages to an alien in your brain,) I half joked. (Okay, what about English, History, and Spanish?)

(History requires memorization of events and dates, and some digestion of the material so that it appears that you have fully processed it and applied it to the world as a whole when you're taking a test or writing a paper. Some work, but little that paying attention in class and the required reading won't fix. Spanish is primarily word and grammar memorization, as are most human languages. English...well, we don't exactly have a Yeerk equivalent, but I am sure that we can find our way around that,) Terlin told me. (You should have no problem with keeping your grades. Even with the additional commitment of The Sharing.)

(I guess if Yeerks end up taking over the world, stuff like History and English won't be taught at Yeerk school,) I noted.

(Not to the same degree that humans learn it, no,) Terlin agreed.

(Well, that's one point in favor of you guys,) I joked. (Say you'll abolish the school system, and you would have most middle and high school students fighting to become Controllers.)

Terlin feigned annoyance. (Your brother's vice principal is one of us. So is his wife. Probably not the best method of promoting Yeerk infestation. In addition to the fact that it has to be kept quiet, for our survival.)

(I know, I know.) I paused. (Wait, Chapman? That's creepy.) I had only just started high school, so I didn't see much of him anymore, but I never much liked him. He'd never given me any problems, so maybe it was the generic dislike of authority. Still. (Is he voluntary?)

(Him, and his wife,) Terlin told me. (But his daughter, who's about the same age as your brother, is not a member of The Sharing.)

That put her at about thirteen, maybe twelve. There were kids of both ages in Jake's grade.

(How old are most Controllers?) I asked.

(Human-Controllers, you mean? Preferably at least your brother's age, unless they already have a parent in The Sharing as a full member. With the required trips to meetings and the Yeerk Pool, we need someone who can make them without causing alarm. And it's not as though they can tell their parents that they've joined a school organization, although with your brother's vice principal being a high-ranking Yeerk, he can allow the school to promote it.)

(So, it's not so much that you care about the age or maturity of the person, but physical logistics?) I asked.

Maybe I should have known. My infestation should have told me that the Yeerks were out to get numbers. Volunteers, sure, but mostly numbers.

I could feel Terlin's discomfort. (It's complicated, Tom. For races such as the Hork-Bajir and the Taxxons, physical maturity has to take place. We cannot infest newborns without causing severe developmental damage. Not that it's been attempted, so perhaps it's an act of compassion on our part, but it's not as though a host that young is capable of doing anything for the invasion. Anyway, we _want_ the hosts to be voluntary, so infesting too young can certainly cause developmental delays. Ideally, the host body should be fully grown, and in good physical health. With humans, though, we are working at gaining members, so age cannot matter as much. I would hope that the Yeerks who infest the younger humans are especially compassionate and understanding, but there's no way of knowing.)

My throat hurt, and I swallowed hard. (I can see it from your side, Terlin,) I told him. (I just hate it. Can't you just announce yourselves, say that you're looking for people to partner up with, and maybe form some kind of an agreement with us? I mean, you said that you don't have to be in control all the time. Don't others feel the same way?)

(If they do, Tom, they don't say it to many people. We are an empire, not a democracy. Besides, can you imagine what would happen if one of us proposed something to your president or one of the other rulers? People would not accept it. They would kill us. Humans outnumber Yeerks, and while your weapons are not as sophisticated as ours, a gun can kill a Taxxon or a Hork-Bajir as easily as a shredder.)

Yeah, outright war probably wasn't the way to go for them. Humans had been killing each other off long enough to develop some pretty high tech weapons, and I had no doubt that if it came down to it, we'd risk blowing up the planet over letting ourselves get taken over by aliens. Even if some of them were decent.

(I just don't want anything to happen to Jake. Or my family. I want them to stay safe.)

(I promised you that I would do whatever I could to either prevent their infestation, or, in the chance that it was absolutely necessary, to ensure it was with a kind Yeerk,) Terlin promised. (I meant it, and I still do.)

I gave a mental nod. It was, I knew, the most that I could hope for.

Later that day, after we had finished my math and science homework-both of which had taken less than an hour combined, which I knew was way less time than it was supposed to take-Terlin told me that we would have to visit the Yeerk Pool the following day.

(I thought it was every three days,) I complained, closing my science book with disgust.

(It is. But seventy-two hours is the absolute maximum amount of time that I can survive without Kandrona rays,) Terlin explained. (Hunger sets in far earlier, and the last few hours before the three day deadline are when starvation occurs. Given that I infested you at about 4:00 on Friday, the maximum amount of time I could survive without feeling severe hunger pangs would be at about 6:00 on Monday morning. We cannot go to the Yeerk Pool that early, because you have school at 8:00. I need at least two hours to feed, and the trip both ways takes about a half an hour. Forty-five minutes, depending on traffic and the line for feeding. So, we have to go tomorrow evening,) he concluded.

I nodded, understanding his reasoning. (So, we take my bike over to The Sharing, you feed for a couple of hours, and then I get home in time for curfew?) I asked.

(The closest entrance to the pool is under your brother's school,) Terlin told me. (But as far as what we tell your parents, we're attending a Sharing meeting.)

(Under the school?) I repeated. (Don't they hear the screams?)

(It's very, very far under the school,) Terlin explained. (Besides, that's just one of the entrances. There are multiple others. We might need to use one of them, depending on where we are when it's time for me to feed. Proximity and whatnot.)

I glanced at the clock in my room. It was already 4:00 in the afternoon. Another fourteen hours or so, and we'd be heading back to that hellish place. And not just once. It would be a regular thing. Even if I ended up staying in the voluntary area, the screams from the Yeerk Pool could give me nightmares.

(Is there a time when it's slow?) I asked hopefully. (Like, maybe at midnight?)

Terlin was quiet, and I could feel him concentrating, probably looking through his own memory to check. I had to imagine that since Hork-Bajir, Taxxons, and Gedds didn't have the traditional nine-to-five schedule, they could be at the Yeerk Pool at any time. I hadn't seen any Taxxons there yesterday, but they were all voluntary, so that made sense. I didn't recall seeing anything resembling a Gedd, either. Just Hork-Bajir and humans.

(As far as avoiding humans, afternoon would probably be best,) he told me. (During the work week, anyway.)

In other words, it was unlikely that we would be there tomorrow during an "off" time.

(Voluntary hosts are placed in a separate area, and they don't hear the sounds from the others. Not unless they're in the immediate room, and there, I imagine it's pretty quiet.)

(Another reason to go voluntary, I guess.)

The only reason not to, really, was to make a statement. To be able to scream and cry against the Yeerk Empire. It wasn't like anyone escaped, and with the invasion moving in the stealth direction, no one was fighting and crashing the Yeerk Pool to free the prisoners.

(There's an additional reason to be a voluntary host.) Terlin's voice broke me out of my reverie, and I visibly jumped. (Sorry about that!) he added, sounding sheepish.

I shrugged off the apology. (What's that?)

(Hosts that are voluntary, formally, are valued and treated better than those in cages. I don't just mean with a separate area when their Yeerk feeds. Rather, in the event that I get reassigned, you are much more likely to go to someone who wants a voluntary host. That means that they will value your cooperation, perhaps even want to gain your friendship and your trust. They are far less likely to mistreat you. As for your family, if they have not joined The Sharing by then, the Yeerk will probably realize that it's either a lost cause, or that they would be blowing their cover were they to convince them to join.)

(What about forced infestation? Like with kids?)

(That's very, very rare, and avoided. It's seen as a last resort. Sad as it is, the human children offspring are more likely to be taken if one of the parents is a target and cannot be easily taken. Jake and your parents are desirable as healthy human hosts, but they have no power or connections that we could use in our favor.)

(Why are you telling me this now?)

(I want you to understand that although my being reassigned in the near future is extremely unlikely, it is possible that you will receive another Yeerk. While you may not be truly voluntary in the sense that they explained infestation to you and you agreed, you are not opposed to my presence in your head. I hope that we can become friends as we spend more time together-)

(-In my brain,) I interrupted, giving him a mental grin.

Terlin chuckled. (Yes, in your brain. Anyway, I hope that things will work out and you will be my host for a very long time. But if that doesn't happen...think of being voluntary as a sort of insurance policy.)

Even though he didn't say as much, it was also a type of weapon. At least, a source of protection. Kind of like body armor, except for my mind instead of for my body.

Not that Terlin would say as much outright. He wasn't an ambitious Yeerk, as he had told me before, but he also wasn't a traitor to the empire. He was giving me information, enough to protect me, but doing so in a way that made him appear like a loyal Yeerk. Well, loyalish.

Which was better than outright treason.

(Okay,) I told him. (You've got yourself a voluntary host.)

The next day, we made our way back to the Yeerk Pool.


	6. Chapter 6

We made our way to the Yeerk Pool without much conversation at first. I could tell that Terlin was starting to feel hungry-Mom had insisted on making us a quick dinner when she heard about the meeting, and as a result, we hadn't left the house until after 6:30-but I couldn't actually _feel_ his hunger. I didn't think it was too bad at this point. Not enough to put Terlin in a bad mood, at any rate, just happy to be on his way to feed at the Yeerk Pool.

Having been there just a couple of days ago, I knew what to expect. Kind of. Maybe not the voluntary area, but definitely the screams and cries of the involuntary hosts. I thought about much pain they had to be in during the time their Yeerk was in charge. Did those Yeerks torture them for fun? Threaten to infest their friends and family? Even worse, make their hosts watch as they performed the infestation? I could only imagine what it was like, but I had always had a pretty vivid imagination.

He didn't respond to these musings. Probably didn't want to lie, or have to confirm, what I imagined to be the case.

At least for some.

Maybe it was a good thing that Terlin had taken control after we left my house. Not complete control-my face and my voice was still my own-but enough so that it wouldn't be a complete shock when he did take full control at the Yeerk Pool. I was glad for the small amount of freedom that I still had, and whenever I started to panic about not having complete control of my body, I reminded myself that I would once Terlin left and, even more importantly, once we returned to my house, he had promised that my body would be mine once more.

(You're doing very well, Tom,) Terlin told me, navigating my bike to the parking lot. (Just a little longer, and we'll be there.)

I knew he was trying to reassure me, and I tried to give him a mental smile. A real one might have drawn some odd looks from people passing by.

(Tell me again what's going to happen at the pool,) I entreated. He'd told me the night before, but I was afraid that I would forget something major.

Terlin gave me a mental nod. (Once we get to the first line, a Hork-Bajir guard will ask if you're voluntary or involuntary,) Terlin explained, patiently. (I'll say voluntary, and that it's your first time as a host. Another guard, probably also a Hork-Bajir, will have you follow him to the voluntary area, and give you a tour.)

(Will the guard speak English?) I asked.

(Yes. We speak Galard amongst each other, when we have non-human host bodies, but Hork-Bajir Controllers have become quite proficient in English. The Hork-Bajir brain _does_ tend to mix up languages, so you may hear some Galard by accident, but the Yeerk controlling the Hork-Bajir will make every effort to communicate effectively with you,) Terlin reassured me. (Especially after learning that you're voluntary. They may be less careful around an involuntary host-liable to use Galard profanity and whatnot-but even then, they try to get their message across clearly.)

I imagined that the "message" they typically sent involuntary human-Controllers was along the lines of "Get in your cage or I'll stun the living daylights out of you".

Terlin chuckled at my observation, a little hesitantly.

(Okay, so the Hork-Bajir's Yeerk takes me to another room and shows me around. Then, what? How will I know when you're ready? And how will I know that it's you?) I added the last part as it came to me. I may have felt ambivalent around Terlin, but I definitely didn't want to start over with another Yeerk. Especially a potentially cruel one.

(After I have finished feeding, I will alert the guards via pool communication, and they call your name. You'll go back to the Pool, wait in line, and I'll infest you again when it's your turn.)

(Okay, but how will I know that it's you?) I asked, chewing on the inside of my lip.

Terlin sent me a mental smile in an attempt to be reassuring. (The pool guards will call me when you're ready. Occasionally, a voluntary host isn't ready when their Yeerk is. Maybe they had to go to the bathroom, or they were immersed in a TV show and missed the warning. On occasion, one of the sub-vissers who oversees the voluntary hosts has called that host into their office, just to make sure that things are going well. The sub-visser will hear the notification from the office, as will the host, but it's a good minute walk away from the rest of the voluntary area. So, we expect there to be the occasional delay. If that happens, they call on the next host, and will repeat the notification five minutes later, and have me wait until you've entered the pool area before getting in line. The guards communicate via the pool communication system to ensure that each Yeerk enters the correct host. Imagine what would happen if there was a mix up! But it's all very regulated.)

Maybe he meant to be reassuring, and I supposed that it was, but it also reminded me that the Yeerks had been flying all over the galaxy in the quest of taking host bodies for longer than I had been alive.

It was depressing, especially since I was now part of this.

Suddenly, I felt Terlin's mind reach out to mine and I felt as though I was being hugged. Well, a mental hug. I didn't know how to return it, and wasn't sure if I would have done so had I known how to, but I couldn't deny that the effect was reassuring. Comforting. It lasted for the better part of a minute, and I was a little disappointed when it ended.

(Thanks,) I murmured.

Once again, I reminded myself that Terlin wasn't really one of the bad guys. He was just another Yeerk caught up in this big war started by a corrupt empire. He was decent, he hadn't shown me anything except kindness, and besides, if I tried to rebel, it would accomplish nothing. Well, maybe infestation with a worse Yeerk, and that was the last thing I wanted.

(You're welcome,) he told me, and we walked in silence for a few minutes. Then, as we neared a building that would-I assumed-be the beginning of one of the entrances to the Yeerk Pool, he told me, (Tom, I have to take full control, now.)

I took a deep breath, then nodded my consent. I could feel all control of my body leave me as Terlin pressed down on my mind. I couldn't even do as much as blink on my own. I fought back my panic without much success, and Terlin finally had to take a couple of deep breaths to steady my breathing. That helped.

(It's all right, it's all right,) he soothed.

(Like I said earlier, I'm still in the freaking out stage because you're in my head,) I managed to joke, but I was finding very little funny about the situation. I couldn't even blink on my own. (Add that to having no control whatsoever, and I think I've earned the right to panic!)

Terlin stopped our stride, and we leaned against the hallway outside of one of the classrooms.

(It's only temporary,) Terlin attempted to reassure me. (In a few minutes, I'll be gone, and you'll have your full body back. And when I reinfest you, I will give you complete control as soon as we're out of the Yeerk Pool area. I promise.)

Knowing this on an intellectual level and knowing it on an emotional level were two different things.

(Look, let's just get this over with,) I replied, a little testily.

He walked on in silence for a couple of minutes before speaking again.

(Tom? What would you say to us practicing this...transfer of control...as it were? In private, of course,) he added.

(What?!) I practically yelped. (I thought you said you wouldn't take control unless you absolutely had to!)

(I know, and I still mean that.) I gave a mental nod, and Terlin continued. (I am simply speculating...if we attempted to share control at times, perhaps, or if I took full control for short periods while giving you plenty of warning...then times like now may not be so difficult for you,) Terlin attempted to explain. (I don't object to your being in control for most periods, Tom. I know how important that is for you. But I'm beginning to wonder if that is starting to produce an adverse reaction when I have to take over.)

He had a point, but I wasn't willing to admit it out loud. Well, in my mind, to him, which for all intents and purposes, was the same thing. (Terlin, I know you're a Yeerk and you don't have a lot you can do in the Yeerk Pool. I get that you need a host in order to be able to see, move around easily, that kind of thing. But think about me. And your other hosts. We are losing _all_ power over our bodies. I don't care if it's for a few hours or for days at a time. It's freakin' terrifying, okay? And I don't think that being terrified when it happens merely warrants calling this an "adverse reaction"!)

Terlin didn't respond right away, and I wondered if I had pushed him too far. Great. What if he started torturing me, or decided he'd had enough with playing nice and forcibly infested my family that evening? The possibilities of what he could do to me were endless.

I spoke first, my anger spent. (Um?)

(Tom, you're right to be angry. What we do...) He gave a mental shudder. (It's easier when it's not creatures as intelligent as humans. Simpler to justify to ourselves.)

The whole evil empire again. Yeah.

(It's just that...well, you understand that it has to happen when I go to feed, and when I am on Yeerk business?) Terlin was almost pleading with me. Almost.

(I get that.) I didn't like it, but I got it.

(So, wouldn't it be better for you if I made it so that it felt more normal than traumatic?)

I swallowed hard. _I_ did. I realized that Terlin had released his hold on my body. Or, had I fought him for control? It didn't seem like it.

Anyway, I could see that he was still in charge of most of me. So, it was probably him trying to be nice. Or, at least, appeasing.

(I need to think about that,) I told him. Okay, a part of me was still annoyed, especially since I knew that he wasn't going to turn all cruel Yeerk on me, but I couldn't logically deny that what he was saying made sense.

Was that what exposure therapy was?

I felt Terlin's mind reach out to mine in another mental hug, this one longer than before. It occurred to me that there were definitely benefits of having such a close mind to mind connection. I had been preoccupied with all of the negative stuff attached to it-like the ways a Yeerk could torture me-but there were benefits, too. For one thing, he completely understood me. And Terlin could probably-if I asked him to-play back good memories for me. Maybe, they'd be even more vivid because of his link to my brain.

I didn't know if I would actually ask him to do this. Not anytime soon, at any rate. Still...

I closed my eyes, briefly, then opened them. (Okay, take over. Let's get this trip to hell over with,) I told him.

I felt the last of control slip away from me, and then Terlin continued the walk to the Yeerk Pool.

Minutes later, I heard the beginning of the screams. Nothing that I hadn't heard before, but it was still pretty awful.

I could feel that Terlin felt similarly to me by his emotions. (The screams at the pool are nothing compared to the ones a host can make in its own head,) he told me. (It's one reason I was glad to have a Taxxon host. Despite the hunger.)

(You've got me now,) I told him.

(Yes, and despite being a male teenager, you haven't had a lot of emotional outbursts. Well, ones that weren't justified,) he told me, laughing a little.

I gave him a mock glare. (Oh, if you think a male teenager is bad, you don't ever want to be inside the head of a female one. Especially during that time of the month.)

I knew that my memories gave him the information about girls and periods. Not something I had ever experienced firsthand-my mom was the only woman in our house, and even though she was probably still getting them, she didn't exactly announce it to me and Jake.

Still, it was a given that girls my age had all gotten them, and they could be particularly moody during that "time of the month". Not all of them, sure, but enough. And if they were bad around their family and friends, they would have to be ten times worse around their Yeerk.

Terlin snorted. (I'll have you know that my Hork-Bajir was female, and let's just say that they go through something similar on a weekly basis after they've matured.)

Checkmate.

Still...

(Okay, then as a voluntary male human teenager, you can't complain,) I pointed out.

He chuckled. (I will give you that one, Tom.)

We'd reached the line for the Yeerks who were leaving their hosts. I wanted to look around. Morbid, maybe. See just how many people were in the cages, and how many were screaming. How many were crying. What they looked like. I knew that pretty much anyone could be a Controller, but I sort of wanted to know if I recognized anyone there.

But Terlin had focused my eyes directly ahead of me, and I couldn't say that I blamed him. We watched as the people in front of us had their Yeerks leave them. Maybe half of them were voluntary. The Yeerk would always say beforehand if their host was voluntary, but based on the reaction of most of the involuntary hosts, they almost didn't need to say anything. Almost. There was one person-a female about my mom's age-who looked too broken and defeated to do much of anything except allow herself to be led to the cages.

Terlin let me eyes linger on her, and then spoke up.

(She's been infested for at least six months. That, or her Yeerk is exceptionally cruel. But I'd bet it was the first.)

(How can you tell?)

(Involuntary hosts like that, the ones who look so broken...they aren't just opposed to infestation. They've fought their Yeerk. The Yeerk always wins, of course, and they slowly lose a part of themselves each time. At about six months, assuming they've been fighting nearly continuously, they simply cannot do so any longer. They've given up. They don't even protest when the pool guards take them to a cage. They realize that resistance is...well, pointless.)

I shuddered mentally. (Do they stay this way?)

(Unless there's an event that spurs them into fighting, or they're reassigned to a more compassionate Yeerk.) Terlin wasn't gloating or anything. He didn't even sound happy about this. The knowledge that pretty much permanent defeat would come at about six months didn't come as reassuring. And I didn't think it was because it was difficult to fight with an involuntary host. I mean, Yeerks had all the power. Someone like that woman might be seen as a nuisance to her Yeerk, but a real problem? Doubtful.

I didn't say anything, and the next two hosts were human Controllers. Both voluntary. The next was a Hork-Bajir, and to my surprise, he followed the humans to the voluntary area. Well, I had known that there were a few voluntary Hork-Bajir, but I assumed it was maybe one in a thousand.

Then, it was our turn.

(Tom, please remember to keep your head still until I leave completely. It's especially important when I go back in.)

(Got it.) The anticipation of having full control over my body again made me wish Terlin would hurry with leaving my head.

He understood this. Knew it wasn't personal. (See you in a couple of hours.)

Using my voice, he told the guard, "First time voluntary host."

The Hork-Bajir nodded. "Does he need someone to show him where to go?"

"Yes."

Another nod, and the Hork-Bajir Controller turned to another one on his left. "You will do it?"

"Yes. It's my turn for a break from guard duties, anyway."

I managed to feel a little amused that even aliens had something resembling a union. Or workplace rules, anyway. Terlin laughed at my observation, bid me farewell again, and began to disconnect from my brain.

Gaining control was almost stranger than losing control. Left foot. Right eye. Shoulder, then arm. I would guess the whole process took about two minutes, but it felt longer because it was the first time that Terlin was leaving my head. Far from the last time, though.

I felt our mental connection most of the time, but he was too busy disengaging from my brain to talk. Besides, he had already told me that he would see me in a couple of hours, and I guessed that anything else would have felt superfluous.

I remembered his request for me to hold my head still until I saw him fall into the pool. After I saw his body fall into the pool, I stood up. A little shakily, but that was more out of nerves than because he'd been in full control for the past fifteen or so minutes. I looked at the pool guards and managed a weak smile.

"I'm Tom. Voluntary," I told them, sounding more confident than I felt.

The second guard nodded-the first was preoccupied with the next person in line.

"Yes. I am Sorren Three-Five-Two. Follow me. Please." He added the last part as an afterthought, as though it wouldn't kill him to be polite to a mere human host-after all, I was voluntary.

I followed him past the cages, giving him a good three feet lead. This turned out not to be necessary. Hork-Bajir were much taller than humans, and their stride was longer as well. I had wanted to keep Sorren in my line of sight without risking getting too close, but I would practically have to run just to keep up with him.

Fortunately, the voluntary area was pretty close to the pool, and we arrived in less than a minute. Sorren opened the door without doing anything to unlock it, so I made a mental note that, for voluntary hosts, we didn't exactly need a key or a security card to gain access to the room. Probably, an involuntary human could get in-except for the fact that their Yeerk would have given their status as an involuntary host away beforehand.

The screams were starting to give me a headache, and I had to admit that I was relieved that when Sorren closed the door behind me, the noise faded considerably. The Yeerks hadn't bothered to soundproof the voluntary area-either they hadn't known how when they built it, or they wanted us to be aware of the alternative if we had second thoughts about letting our Yeerks back into our heads-but about 90% of the sounds from the Yeerk Pool were gone. It was hard not to let out a sigh of relief, but I managed.

"This is the main room," Sorren told me. I glanced around to find a big TV propped up against one wall, and a long table filled with food. Mostly healthy stuff, but there was an assorted cracker platter in the middle. Lots of comfortable chairs and a few couches took up a lot of the space in front of the TV, and they were being used by most of the humans in the room. I would have guessed there were forty humans there. All ages, except there was no one younger than Jake. Definitely a few people his age, though. Still, they were voluntary, so they must be reasonably happy with their Yeerks. Maybe I could talk to one of them, just in case the worst case scenario happened and Jake decided to join The Sharing and become a full member. Those kids had to know of other Yeerks who were decent.

I pushed these thoughts away as I scanned the rest of the room. A bookshelf filled with books and some videos to choose from. Small tables along the back, some with humans playing board games, while others were just reading or watching the TV show. It looked, in many ways, like a regular Sharing meeting. Minus the five Hork-Bajir who were also there, standing together and conversing in either Hork-Bajir or Galard.

I turned to Sorren. "There are other rooms?"

"Yes." He pointed to the four doors along the wall, opposite of the TV. The one on the far right had a greater distance separating itself from the others. "The one on the far right leads to the Taxxon feeding area. Don't go there." I nodded in understanding. "The one next to it leads to the Hork-Bajir bathrooms. Not for humans...but you won't die if you forget that." I managed a laugh, which he returned with one. At least, I thought it was a laugh. "The one next to that leads to our exercise area, and our quiet area." I must have raised my eyebrows, because Sorren said, "Some of the humans want to have a space to read or think without the noise from the pool. The last door, on the left, is where the human bathrooms are located. The exercise area also has a door that leads to them, because they contain showers, and humans often want to utilize them after exercising."

I nodded, taking all of this in.

"The very last door leads to the offices for the sub-vissers." I turned my head, realizing that I hadn't seen the nearly hidden door on the corner. "There are four who have offices and speak with voluntary hosts. New ones will often be asked to speak to the sub-visser on duty, to make sure that they are settled in. Sub-vissers are also responsible for the assignments of human and Hork-Bajir hosts, so if a human is having trouble with a particular Yeerk, he can tell the sub-visser."

"What, like apply for a new Yeerk?" I asked him. Well, I thought it was a him.

Sorren shook his head, which looked a bit weird for a Hork-Bajir. "Humans can't demand to be reassigned. But a sub-visser can help if there are problems."

Sound of like a resident advisor on a college dorm, then. Except, the sub-vissers have actual power. Also, I probably shouldn't go blabbing that Terlin had promised to give me full control most of the time, or that he would do his best to keep my family safe.

If I had to talk to a sub-visser, I'd keep it short and to the point. Yeah, I'd been taken to the Pool against my will because I'd invaded a full members Sharing meeting. But once my Yeerk explained what was going on, I knew it was best to cooperate. Maybe, I could add that Terlin had been pretty decent and I didn't mind having company in my head. Something innocuous like that.

Still, the fact that Terlin hadn't told me this made me nervous. Wouldn't he have thought to let me know? Then again, his only voluntary host had been a Taxxon, and they probably gorged themselves on fresh meat in the feeding area for the two hours that Terlin fed. I couldn't imagine much desire to interrupt that to make sure the Taxxon was doing okay emotionally. Especially when the entire race had agreed to Yeerk control in exchange for food.

I just had to hope that I wouldn't be summoned to any offices today, and that Terlin could brief me on what to say in the event that it occurred.

Sorren was still staring at me, waiting for me to speak, and I just shrugged.

"Well, my Yeerk's been okay so far, so I don't have any complaints. Are they going to want to talk to me today?" I tried to sound nonchalant, and I hoped that Sorren had never had a human host before, because I was not THAT good of an actor.

Sorren clicked his tongue before responding. Maybe something that Hork-Bajir Controllers did to indicate they were thinking?

"Unlikely, especially since it's your first time. They like to give voluntary hosts some time to adjust. But they might want to speak to you before it's been a full month."

I wondered if a month was how long it took most voluntary humans to adjust to Yeerk control. But Sorren didn't have a human host, and his was probably involuntary, so it seemed like it would be pointless to ask the question.

I just nodded, instead.

"Do you require a tour of any of the voluntary areas?" Sorren asked me. "It's fairly straight forward, and there is enough of what you humans call 'traffic' that if you get lost, there will be another human who's able to assist you."

"Naw, I'm good. I figure I'll stay in this room for today. Maybe say hi to some of my fellow hosts," I added.

Sorren nodded again, and widened his mouth in what appeared to be a smile, although coming from a Hork-Bajir, it was anything but reassuring. Perhaps realizing this, he set his expression to normal (I thought) a few seconds later.

"I will return to the pool, then. You will be notified when your Yeerk has finished feeding."

"Thanks for your help," I said, scanning the room and deciding to take a seat on one of the comfortable chairs near a group of people chatting.

Another nod, and then Sorren was off.

One of the people in the group-an Asian male who looked to be in his early 20s-raised his eyebrows when he saw me.

"Hey, aren't you the one they dragged in screaming last Friday?" he asked without preamble.

Was I that famous? Then again, it made sense that at least SOME of the same Yeerks who had been feeding at the Yeerk Pool on Friday would be back here today. Besides, I guessed that breaking into a full members Sharing meeting and ending up infested wasn't exactly a routine occurrence.

I raised my hands in surrender. "Guilty."

"Ha. Won THAT bet with my Yeerk," a blonde woman at least twice my age remarked. She was smiling. "So, did they give you a decent Yeerk, or did your Yeerk warn you that you'd end up in the cages if you didn't cooperate?"

A/N: I had written more for this chapter, but it was getting pretty long, so I thought that this would be a good place to end it. Sort of a cliffhanger-which is the point! Please leave feedback below. :)


	7. Chapter 7

"Somewhere in the middle," I explained awkwardly, and then stopped before I gave something away. Like that Terlin seemed pretty decent, or the whole my family probably wouldn't become Controllers thing. Yeah, that would go over real well in the Empire.

"This is your first time with the voluntary hosts, then?" Sue asked me.

I nodded. "Mind if I join you?"

I'd rather have taken some more time to digest everything, but as Sue's group-well, Sue-was speaking with me already, it would feel rude to just ignore her. Then again, if she was just making small talk, I'd like to know that as well.

It had always been easy enough for me to get along with people my age. Older people were...well, there was always a level of awkwardness involved.

There seemed to be a group of them, sitting in the comfortable chairs near the TV, but more interested in their own group than the show that was on. Sue nodded and pointed to an empty chair next to her.

"Thanks," I said, taking a seat in the comfortable chair.

It was definitely an improvement to spending the next two hours locked in a cage.

"Who's your Yeerk?" Sue asked me. "Are your family hosts yet?"

"Terlin something," I told her. "And no, just me."

The "yet" must have shone on my face, because I could feel the tension building in the group.

"Sue, give him a chance to take everything in before you start bugging him for every detail of his life," the Asian man chided. "I'm Alan. Controller for nearly two years. That's Susan, who's kind of the mom/aunt of the group, but she'll insist that you call her Sue. She's been here the longest-three years?"

"Three years, six months, and nine days," she replied, sounding rather proud of this fact. "And I'm still on my first Yeerk, which we're both happy about. Even though she was recently given a small promotion."

"Kallen made sub-visser?" This came from a redhead about my age.

But Sue was shaking her head. "No, not that high. They reduced her number from Kallan four-six-three to two-seven-eight. So, of course, whenever she introduces herself, she includes her former number as well as her current one." She gave me an indulgent smile, the kind you'd give to a cute kid who was proud of some (to them) major accomplishment. "And they all congratulate her, naturally. But she's hoping to be made a sub-visser by the end of the next Yeerk cycle."

Alan smiled at me. "We've all had the same Yeerk for at least a year, and been on the same feeding cycle."

"Have you always been voluntary?" I asked.

It seemed like a safe enough question.

"I haven't." This came from another female, probably Jake's age. "My first one was a real daspen."

Sue's eyebrows shot up-I guessed the term was either profanity, or a slur against Yeerks. "Amanda!" she scolded.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Sue, but threatening to infest my three year old sister in her sleep with the worst Yeerk she knew, one who was _known_ for abusing even voluntary hosts, makes a Yeerk a daspen. And that's not all she did to torture me." Amanda's face darkened at the memory, but she quickly calmed down. "But my current Yeerk is a lot nicer."

"And your sister?" I prodded.

"Six. Uninfested. As are the rest of my family," Amanda told me. "The first Yeerk could never get them to join, and the second Yeerk either figured it was a lost cause, or didn't want to...to make me fight her."

"It was probably an empty threat, anyway," Sue told her.

"Yeah, it's not like kids make great hosts," Alan agreed.

"Hey, if Molly wants to join The Sharing when she's older and get her own Yeerk, fine. I won't stop her. But not before she's old enough to drive. And not with _him._ "

Sue put a hand on Amanda's shoulder.

"Anyway, what's _your_ name?" Alan asked me.

"Tom Berenson," I told him.

"And your Yeerk? He explain everything to you after he infested you?" Sue asked me. "About the invasion and all that? They usually do."

"Yeah, pretty much. I thought they were going to kill me when they brought me to the Yeerk Pool, so the news that I was going to have an alien residing in my head permanently was weird, but..." I shrugged. "Anyway, there's not much I can do about it now, and it's better than being locked up in a cage every three days."

"Provided that you agree to become a full member, they usually tell you a little about it before they infest you," Amanda said. "Sometimes, whoever is in charge with the infestation will give you all of the information, and let you ask as many questions as you want. Others just handcuff you and let the Yeerk do the explaining, if they think you'll end up becoming involuntary either way."

"More often, it's somewhere in the middle. They don't want to alienate potential voluntary humans, but it's not like most Yeerks who oversee infestation have all day to answer every question you might have," Alan contradicted her. "And since half of all humans turn out to be voluntary, it's not the worst system."

"That really depends on who you get as a Yeerk." This was from a black woman who, until now, hadn't said much. Long hair, probably early 50's. "The really cruel ones will mistreat their hosts no matter what. And the truly decent ones will attempt to show humans-even the ones who were initially captured-that having a Yeerk in your head can be a good thing. Most are somewhere in the middle. They'd rather have a voluntary human, and will certainly treat them better, but they're not going to set you free just because you don't want to be a host."

I suspected that Terlin counted himself somewhere between the "truly decent ones" and "somewhere in the middle".

"Right," Alan agreed. "And if you're smart, you become a voluntary Controller at that point, because even if you don't like your current Yeerk, there's a better chance that they won't mistreat you if you cooperate with them. Additionally, you're far less likely to get a truly cruel Yeerk if yours gets promoted."

"Yeah, Terlin told me that part," I confirmed. "Are there a lot of those? Cruel Yeerks?"

The same black woman spoke again. "The Yeerks don't collect data that way, because it indicate treason against the empire. Based solely on my experience, about one in every hundred Yeerks are sadists."

"Sarah would know," Sue told me, nodding at the black woman. "Hers is Sub-Visser fifteen."

"Wow."

It seemed like the right response, because Sarah smiled at me. "Yes, Talith has been my Yeerk for nearly two years. We're amicable," Sarah told me. "And while she doesn't oversee voluntary hosts, she has a say in the assignments of potential full members for The Sharing. Before me, she was in a Hork-Bajir and was a pool guard."

I noticed her use of the word "amicable". She hadn't said "friends" to describe her relationship with Talith. Was that because Talith had told her not to appear to be on too good terms with her Yeerk? Would it make Talith out to be some kind of traitor if the wrong Yeerks heard?

It was something to ask Terlin about.

On the whole, as I listened and occasionally participated on this conversation, I thought this group seemed fairly normal for having been voluntary Controllers for so long. It seemed like they utilized the voluntary "card" that was at their disposal in exchange for better treatment. Maybe, they bargained for their families' freedom, like I had done. I imagined that after enough time with the same Yeerk, especially if you were cooperating, infestation-and even the loss of control for most of the time-just seemed like the new normal.

While I didn't ever want to get used to not being in control, I thought that I could probably get used to the situation of having Terlin in my head most of the time.

"How long does it usually take to...you know...get used to it?" I asked. Not really asking any one person in particular, just addressing the group as a whole.

Sue answered without hesitating. "About a month. Less if your Yeerk is one of the truly decent ones, but nearly all voluntary hosts have settled in before their Yeerk has gone for their tenth feeding."

"Yeah, but you never really adjust to the screamers at the Yeerk Pool," Amanda pointed out. "They're the ones who make you think you've entered the pits of hell."

"You're one to talk. You were one of the worst ones until you got Illnit," Sarah remarked.

Amanda laughed. "Giving my first Yeerk a sore throat was one of my few ways of getting back at her. And if the rumors are true that she's in a Taxxon now, I won."

Sue snorted at this.

"They won't last," said Alan, suddenly, as though it had just occurred to him.

I jumped, thinking of what Terlin had told me earlier about the six month rule. "What won't?"

"Involuntary hosts," he explained. At the shock on our faces, he continued, "When the Yeerks take over the planet, they'll realize that humans outnumber them. They'll still have all of the military power, of course. By then, they will have infested all of the government leaders, taken over all of the weapons. Not that theirs aren't fairly destructive. But there are what, forty million Yeerks? And the vast majority don't reproduce. Those who do wait until nearly the end of their life. The human population, on the other hand, is growing each day. There are probably more humans born throughout the world each day than there are human Controllers on the planet. The Yeerks might catch up, eventually, but it could take decades. In the meantime, they'll have their choice of hosts, and almost no one will want an involuntary human. Those who object to Yeerk control will still have to live under the Yeerk rule, but they won't have a Yeerk in their heads." He paused for a minute. "Less than one human in a thousand will be a Controller, at least in the beginning. You would probably have to go on a wait list to have a Yeerk in your head. The cages will be discontinued."

"Well, that's an optimistic way of looking at things," Amanda responded, and I had no idea if she was being serious or not.

"Mathematically speaking-"

"They could just kill off most of us." Someone who hadn't spoken before-another kid around Jake's age-said this. "They might figure that a human without a Yeerk in their head is too dangerous after they finish defeating the planet."

"Or, they might take the uninfested humans and use them as backups when they engage in physical combat against the Andalites," Sue put in. "Whatever happens, it won't be anytime soon. Not for at least five more years. The number of full members of The Sharing hasn't even reached a hundred thousand, yet. That includes involuntary Controllers."

"Let's change the subject," suggested Amanda. "I hear about Yeerk politics enough when I'm infested."

The others laughed, and they began discussing some TV show that was on last night. I decided to grab a snack from the table, and after inspecting the contents, settled on some of the crackers and an apple.

I rejoined the group, but stayed pretty quiet during most of the time. They had moved on from talking about Yeerks, but they seemed like a pretty close knit group and I didn't know if they would end up becoming friends. At least I knew a little more about why people became voluntary Controllers, and how long it would take before my new life with Terlin would feel normal.

Before too long, I heard my name called, and I got up to leave the group without much hesitation. Sue waved a goodbye as I stood up, and some of the others followed suit, but I could tell that I had long since ceased to be very interesting to them.

Probably, it was because I hadn't said much, but I was still figuring out what I could say and who-if anyone-I could trust. At least the involuntary hosts got to scream and rant at the guards in protest of their treatment as slaves to the Yeerks. Since I was seemingly okay with Yeerk infestation, I had to be more careful.

Then again, maybe I was overthinking things. But I'd rather lose out on potential friends than on my decent treatment by Terlin-not to mention my family's freedom and safety.

The screams seemed louder than before, but I made myself get in the line for reinfestation. You could tell who the involuntary hosts were. While few were actually being physically restrained, there was a large number of Hork-Bajir pool guards standing nearby, all holding some sort of gun. It would be a tough battle even if all of the people in the cages were free and fighting, but the number of people waiting in line to be reinfested was not much greater than the number of guards available.

Probably, they did that on purpose.

When it came to be my turn, I knelt down in front of the pool, as close to the edge as I could go without risking the fear of falling in. I moved so my head a couple of inches above the water and turned so my ear was touching the the top of the pool. As the nearest guard didn't step in to readjust my head, I imagined that I would be giving Terlin enough space to crawl inside.

A minute later, I felt the squishy touch of Terlin's body-at least, I hoped it was his body, and not another Yeerk-and then a brief stab of pain before my ear went numb. I could still feel him making his way inside of my ear, and the mental image this conjured up made me more than a little queasy. I forced myself to keep calm, not get sick, because I couldn't imagine what would happen to me if I threw up in the Yeerk Pool.

Just like what Terlin first infested me, I felt myself lose control little by little. I was prepared for it, but it wasn't any less unsettling. Maybe Terlin was right about practicing the whole "giving over control" thing before he had to attend a Sharing meeting with his Yeerk buddies.

Just after I lost complete control of my body, I felt his mind link with mine. Sensing my anxiety that-in spite of his reassurances-it wasn't him, he spoke in a calm, gentle voice.

(It's all right, Tom, I'm back. Terlin.)

I managed a mental grin. (Hey, you.)

Terlin moved my body so that I was standing up, and nodded to the guards. "I'm back in control." Then, without looking back at the cages, he headed back towards the stairway. Away from the Yeerk Pool.

True to his word, he handed over control to me as soon as we were out of the vicinity of the Yeerk Pool. (Thanks,) I said, talking over the walking. (How was the pool?)

(Oh, the usual. Nothing terribly interesting to report. How was the voluntary area?)

(A little weird,) I admitted. (You can open my memories if you want, and see for yourself.)

(Are you certain?)

(Well, maybe we better wait until we get home. I don't want to risk falling off my bike while you're going through memory lane,) I amended. (But once we're home, yeah.)

(All right.) Terlin seemed surprised at the change in my attitude towards his delving into my memory since Friday night, but not enough to push the matter. Or, maybe he realized that since this was all fairly new to me, I was bound to change my mind about certain things on occasion. (Yes, you certainly have the right to do that,) he laughed, responding to my thoughts.

(Don't you guys ever change your minds?) I prodded.

Terlin gave a mental shrug. (Not to the extent that humans do. Our brains aren't physically divided the way yours are, so we aren't constantly second guessing ourselves. It's more productive that way.)

(It's never stopped us from making decisions. Well, not usually,) I told him. (We just think a lot more about what could happen as a result. Actually,) I added, remembering this from my biology class, (my brain hasn't completely formed. The whole prefrontal cortex thing? It doesn't stop developing until I'm in my twenty's.)

(That might explain why you decided to crash the full members Sharing meeting without pausing to consider what could happen,) Terlin commented.

(I figured the worst that would happen would be expulsion from the group, and Allison not wanting to have anything to do with me. Both of which were risks I was willing to take, especially since I wasn't all gung ho about The Sharing,) I pointed out. (The whole concept of The Sharing being a front for an alien invasion didn't cross my mind. And I doubt that it would have had I been ten years older, with that part of my head fully functional.)

(No, but you may have been less impulsive,) Terlin remarked, wryly. (Anyway, seeing as becoming a full member requires infestation, and you might have become a full member had Allison been encouraging towards it, the end result may have been the same.)

(Yeah, but with a different Yeerk.)

(Yes. That part worked out rather well for me,) Terlin agreed, sending me a mental smile. He paused before adding, (You seem happier about my being in your head than you were before.)

I shrugged mentally. (Maybe I'm getting used to it. And you're not exactly horrible to have around.)

(Well, thank you, Tom.)

I didn't say anything else during the trip back. It was almost 10:00 at night, and even though I had an 11:00 curfew, I was feeling pretty tired and needed to stay focused on the ride. At least it felt shorter biking back than it did going there. We arrived home around 10:20, and I parked my bike in the garage before heading in the house.

"Mom, I'm home!" I called, knowing that she'd still be up.

Mom came out of her office and gave me a hug. "Don't stay up too late, okay? With school tomorrow and all."

"Don't worry, I'm exhausted," I told her, and I was. "I'm just about to turn in."

"The Sharing is quite a commitment," she commented. "Well, sweet dreams, honey."

"You too," I told her, then headed to my room.

I changed into pajamas without thinking (much) about Terlin watching me. Headed to the bathroom for the usual business, plus brushing my teeth and washing my face. A few minutes later, I was back in my room, laying on my bed.

(Should I look at your memories of tonight now, or later?) Terlin asked me, sensing my exhaustion.

(Later, but not when I'm sleeping, okay?)

(All right. Good night, Tom.)

I shut my eyes, and within minutes, fell into the first truly deep and restful sleep that I experienced since my initial infestation.

Monday went by in kind of a blur. During math class, Terlin asked if he could open my memories from the Yeerk Pool from the previous day, and I consented. It wasn't like we were learning anything new in the class, and reliving the events from the night before would be a nice distraction. As, I knew, would be Terlin's presence in my head. I wondered how many teenagers who saw school as a necessary evil would consent to Yeerk control just to have a distraction from the boredom of class. Don't get me wrong, learning was great, but most of the stuff we covered in school I would never use in real life, and we went over the same thing so many times that even if it took me a couple of explanations to understand it, I would still be bored to tears by the fifth explanation.

Anyway, Terlin opened my memory and saw my interaction with the voluntary hosts, as well as with Sorren. I couldn't really tell what he thought of it as he was seeing the events, and I figured it was best to keep my thoughts to myself until he finished seeing the memory.

Even though the events had played out over a couple of hours, Terlin saw the whole thing in less than a couple of minutes. I guessed that human memory recorded things quicker than he actual events took place.

(I don't think Alan's quite correct about what would happen if we took over the planet,) Terlin commented. (His assessment of the Yeerk reproduction rate is very low.)

(Uh huh,) I replied. (And the rest of it?)

He gave a mental shrug. (Hearing the interactions of voluntary humans when their Yeerks feed is as new to me as it is to you, Tom. But I thought you did well with not providing too much information.)

(It's hard to know if their Yeerks would use that against us later,) I noted.

(Or the Yeerks of other hosts who happened to be listening in. Voluntary hosts don't generally stay voluntary if they have cruel Yeerks, but the empire doesn't want to portray its servants as-to adopt a human term-sissies.)

(What do I say if I have to speak to one of the sub-vissers about how I'm adjusting?) I asked him.

Terlin considered this for a minute. (I think that what you thought of was fine. It's safe enough to say that I treat you decently, and that you realized it was better to cooperate rather than fight a pointless battle. It's nothing that they haven't heard before, and it's believable.)

(You could get into trouble for trying to protect my family,) I pointed out.

He sent me a mental shrug. (Yes, but protecting your cover is just as important as seeking out a few more hosts for the empire in the immediate future.)

I had my doubts about this. Sure, three humans didn't sound like much, but even if just those three lead to three more, and those lead to three more...it wasn't an insignificant number.

Then again, The Sharing had to keep the invasion quiet, and whatever hosts Terlin didn't bring in, someone else would.

Also, it wasn't like there was an infinite number of humans living in our state. At some point, overlap would occur. Of course, this could mean that Marco might join The Sharing and urge Jake to join...or Rachel could join and do the same thing.

(You're overthinking things, Tom,) Terlin chided me. (There's no need to think ten steps ahead to what might happen. One day at a time.)

(Right,) I agreed. (But I want to be as prepared as I can be.)

Terlin hesitated. (Would you prefer me to look for sympathetic Yeerks for your family? If their infestation becomes inevitable, it might be good to be prepared.)

(No. Because they probably wouldn't go voluntarily, and then they'd end up as a host to a cruel Yeerk. Besides, I don't just want to surrender their freedom now in case it happens later!) My fists clenched under my desk, and I was sure my face was getting red. I unclenched my fists and leaned over my desk, pretending to be fascinated with my notes.

He sent me a mental nod. (All right.)

(But, thanks for the offer,) I added, because I knew that he meant it as just that. Not as a threat.

We had the same goal in mind, after all. At least as far as myself and my family went.

A/N: I was going to end this chapter on a cliffhanger, but having already spent some time on the next one, I didn't think I could end it in such a way that would make sense while keeping what I had already worked on. So, no cliffie this time. Hope you still enjoyed it...and please leave a review!


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next couple of weeks, things fell into a pattern. We would wake up, attend school, then either basketball practice, homework, a Sharing meeting, or "Sharing meeting"-Terlin's feeding time-in the afternoon. Then, we would arrive home in time for dinner, spend a small amount of time with family before finishing homework. Afterwards, a little TV or homework (if we couldn't do any that afternoon or in study hall), and then bed. Basketball practice was an hour every day except for Fridays, but I had always enjoyed it and knew that I had a talent for it. I didn't think I was good enough to go pro, but I could probably get a scholarship for college if I kept it up. Maybe some Yeerks would have had me quit in order to make more time for The Sharing, but Terlin could see that I enjoyed it, and besides, quitting it after being on the team for a year in high school might have raised some questions.

For obvious reasons, the days that Terlin had to feed were the longest ones. Sharing meetings, like basketball practice, never lasted much more than an hour, but full members often socialized with the auxiliary ones afterwards in an attempt to make them feel welcome. The meetings never took as long as when he had to go to the Yeerk Pool, and I was actually glad when those days fell on a weekend. Especially when we could go early in the morning. Saturday and Sunday mornings were the least crowded, and that meant that the Pool had the fewest amount of involuntary hosts. It was still a hellish pit, but on the old 1-10 scale, maybe a 4 or 5 instead of the usual 9 or 10.

Terlin didn't exactly go at the same time every two and a half days, the way Yeerks with hosts were supposed to. With our schedule, it would be nearly impossible. Officially, every Yeerk had a feeding schedule based on the longest amount of time they could go without feeding and without displaying major signs of hunger. But for kids-which I was in the eyes of the empire-things were less structured. The human Controllers in the Yeerk empire who were in charge of feeding schedules understood that while it was one thing to be a single male or female who was an adult and had a job directly through The Sharing, it was another to be under eighteen and subject to school, curfew, and other family obligations. Maintaining our cover mattered more than adherence to the Kandrona schedule.

They didn't tend to give the same flexibility to parents, which had to be a pain, given that parents didn't have it much easier. Well, I guessed that they could "work late" some nights when they would take a trip to the Yeerk Pool, but still...

(Human schedules complicate things greatly,) Terlin told me when I mentioned this to him after we got back from an afternoon trip to the Pool. We had returned to my room to do homework, and I was sitting at my desk with my math book was laying open, but it was for show only. We had finished all of my homework for the next day during study hall. Still, we had to look like we were hard at work, so I was in control, pretending to be engaged studying, while I was actually talking to Terlin.

He was always in a good mood after he fed. Not that he was normally crabby or anything, but the stress of having to feed soon was gone-for the time being.

(Yeah?) I told him, waiting for Terlin to continue.

He did, sensing my interest. (While it's not exactly relaxing to be the Yeerk controlling a Taxxon or a Hork-Bajir, there's little need to have a cover. Working for the empire is your job, and feeding schedules come with it. Often, humans are always running around, making too many commitments.)

(Well, you haven't starved yet,) I observed, giving him a mental smile. (In fact, you're feeding more often than you have before when you had a Hork-Bajir or Taxxon host.)

(Yes,) Terlin allowed, (and this means the amount of time I'm required to be in the pool is shorter than it would normally be had I needed to adhere to the typical feeding schedule.)

This was news to me, even though, now that I thought about it, I had noticed a variation in the amount of time I tended to spend in the voluntary area. But as it was all new to me, I hadn't yet made the connection between the amount of time Terlin was in the pool and the amount of time it had been since he had last fed.

(Hey, Terlin,) I began. (Explain to me again how this feeding thing works? I know the Kandrona is like your sun...)

Terlin turned to patient teacher mode. He'd tried to tell me about this before, but either he wasn't explaining it in a way that I could understand, or it was so far out of my experience that my brain went to mush after a few minutes.

But, to my credit, I wanted to understand.

(Maybe we should have pretended to be doing your biology homework instead,) Terlin joked, which got a laugh from me. (All right. The atomic structure of the sun served as the basis for all life on the Yeerk home world,) Terlin started, pausing as I tried to focus on each word. (So, every living thing relies on it for survival, but the Yeerk species has a greater dependency on it because it's our only source of nourishment. The pools of water and nutrients on the home planet serve as a way to maintain the nutrients from the sun, but we still need the direct light from the sun in order to survive. We cannot just empty pools of water and nutrients from the home planet and bathe in them without the sun, or an artificial kandrona. With me so far?)

I nodded as I attempted to wrap my head around this. (Yeah.)

(The light from the sun has a regenerative power on our bodies. The minute that we leave the Yeerk Pool or the pools on the home planet, our bodies begin to disintegrate. It takes a full seventy-two hours for this process to complete itself, and we begin to feel the immediate effect of this after about sixty hours. Before then, we feel no pain and no awareness of our bodies breaking apart.)

(So, the lack of Kandrona sort of produces holes in your body?)

(Not literal holes. It's more that the body begins to decompose. Should I continue?)

It didn't seem like a huge distinction to me, but...

(Okay.)

(At the sixty hour point, we reach a sort of turning point where the process was occurring without any physical symptoms, and now they are beginning to occur. This translates to our minds not as the sort of pain you would experience from injuring yourself, but as hunger.)

I gave Terlin a mental nod. (And the hunger acts like a type of warning signal. Danger, danger, your body is starting to decompose.)

(Technically, it's been decomposing from the first minute outside the Pool, but essentially...yes,) Terlin allowed. (So, for the first five hours after this "turning point", as it were, we feel hunger, but it's the sort of hunger that you feel after having eaten lunch and knowing that dinner won't be served for a few hours. While you are in no danger of starving, it is still fairly unpleasant, and may even lead to feelings of weakness or dizziness if you wait to long to eat.)

(Like low blood sugar,) I told him. (Which is especially deadly for diabetics.)

Not that I knew anyone with diabetes, personally, but Rachel had read the Babysitters Club books last year, and she'd talked about them until it became obvious that Jake and I had zero interest in a series about girl babysitters. Anyway, apparently one of the characters had diabetes, and this was a big plot in the series.

Terlin didn't know anything more about diabetes than I did, so he just gave me a mental nod and continued. (The next turning point comes at sixty-five hours. Ideally, a Yeerk should return to the Pool at the sixty hour point, but this is not always possible. The main thing is to make it before the sixty-five hour mark. It's then that the hunger becomes...well, near starvation. The fugue itself doesn't take place until the seventy hour point, but at sixty-five hours, hallucinations can occur and it becomes imperative-for the sake of the Yeerk's performance in the empire, if nothing else-to get them to a Yeerk Pool immediately.)

(So, you're not technically dying at this point, but it feels like you are. Have you ever gone that long?)

I felt Terlin concentrating as he dug through his own memories. I wasn't privy to those, exactly, but I could see glimpses of them as he delved through them. Probably not something that a host would see unless he was on good terms with his Yeerk.

(Sixty one hours and forty-two minutes was the longest I went. It was when I was in my Taxxon host, and we were in combat. The backup fighter had been executed for some sort of incompetence-or at least, his host body-and my trip to the Pool was delayed because of that. The hunger of a Taxxon alone is hard enough to bear, but add in the very beginning stages of Kandrona withdrawal...) Terlin shuddered momentarily.

I cringed. (Sorry for bringing that up.)

I felt Terlin's mind reached out to mine gently. Not quite the equivalent of a hug, but more like an arm around the shoulder. (Don't be. I'm happy to answer any of your questions.) Sensing that he had reassured me, he asked, (Should I continue?)

(Sure.)

(Keep in mind that this is all what I have been told, and not anything that I have experienced or witnessed firsthand,) he told me, and I gave a mental nod. (Now, if a Yeerk is detained from the Kandrona long enough so that it enters the fugue state, or more than sixty-five hours, it can still make a full recovery. However, the longer they are away from the Yeerk Pool during this period, the longer-exponentially-it will take a Yeerk to recover. If I were to be forced into the early states of the fugue state, I would have to spend the better part of the day immersed in the Yeerk Pool waters before I would be fit to infest a host. It wouldn't be safe, otherwise. Even after a full recovery, my infestation process would take twice as long as usual, even with a cooperative host, and if a host rebelled during the feeding cycle immediately afterwards, it would be far harder for me to take full control.)

Which I had never attempted. Partly because there was no reason to do so when he obviously needed to be in control-even though I still hated it and didn't think I'd ever adjust to being helpless during those times-and partly because it wouldn't do anything. Except maybe tick him off. I'd heard that involuntary hosts managed to seize control from their Yeerk, on occasion, but they were exhausted for days afterwards. Even if their Yeerk didn't torture them in order to retaliate-and further break their spirit.

(How much harder is it?) I asked, more out of morbid curiosity than because it was something I wanted to attempt, were Terlin ever placed in this state of near starvation.

Terlin shrugged. (I don't know firsthand, which I am very grateful for. But common knowledge around the Pool says that it's ten times easier for the host. Not that they can take control at will, the way their Yeerk can, but it goes from nearly impossible to very difficult.)

I was quiet for a little while, trying to digest this information. (Are there any scars or stuff like that if you feel a lot of hunger and then go to the Pool?)

(No. All damage becomes eliminated after a weeks' worth of feedings, but a particularly painful method of Kandrona starvation is to allow the fugue to occur over as many cycles as it takes the Yeerk to starve. At each feeding period, the Yeerk will receive less time in the Pool, and the damage to their body will not be allowed to heal. They will enter into a near perpetual state of hunger for a couple of weeks, but I hear that this is downright pleasant compared to the fugue that takes place afterwards. It's a method of execution reserved only for the most dire of offenses. Starvation by withdrawing access to the Kandrona for three days is almost painless in comparison.)

(I hope you never have to go through either,) I told him, meaning it.

In addition to not wanting to hurt sentient beings, I had come to trust Terlin over the last few weeks. Maybe not 100%, not yet, but certainly more than 80%.

His actions towards me had proved that he was serious about wanting some kind of symbiotic relationship. Terlin hadn't hurt me by using my mind or memories against me, and he'd kept his word about protecting my family. We hadn't even had to say a word to Jake about joining The Sharing. I didn't even think he knew that I was a full member, yet. Granted, it was only two weeks since my infestation, so maybe he was still trying to play it safe, but our mind connection was such that even if I couldn't read his thoughts as he could mine, his emotions were a pretty clear indicator as to what he was thinking. Terlin hadn't let me down or betrayed me, and I honestly didn't think he was going to. At this point, I wasn't sure if there WAS anything else that he could do to make me trust him more than he already had.

Anyway, it was hard for me to wish this kind of pain on any of the Yeerks. Well, maybe the really cruel ones who tortured their hosts out of sadistic pleasure.

(Thank you, Tom,) he told me.

We were quiet for a few minutes. I was going to suggest going downstairs, maybe watch some TV or see if Jake wanted to shoot hoops, when Terlin spoke again.

(How would you feel about practicing my taking over now?) He asked me. At the sudden onslaught of fear flooding through me, he added, (Not permanently, Tom. Maybe for fifteen minutes. If that. It would be more of an exercise to help you get accustomed to my "taking" control, as you call it.)

I gnawed on my lower lip. (I don't know,) I told him, honestly.

Terlin sighed. (What if we called it something else?)

(Changing the name doesn't make it any less creepy,) I grumbled.

I felt Terlin sigh again in my head. (I've been asking about it in the Pool,) he began. (There are many voluntary hosts, mostly humans, who suffer fear when their Yeerk is in charge of their body.)

(Can you blame them?) I asked him, pointedly.

(No,) he admitted.

We were quiet for a few minutes.

(It would be easier,) I mused, (if I had something like override power. The way you do when I'm in control. Obviously, you can take over whenever you want, but you're not. I wouldn't mind you being in control if I had something like that.)

Terlin seemed to brighten at this remark. (Loose control, you mean. Or, gentle control.)

(Huh?)

(Loose control, or gentle control, is when I am operating your body, but I am not attached to your nerve centers as strongly as I would be if I were in control. In the case of this type of control, you _do_ have override power, as you put it.)

I felt my mind lighten at this new knowledge, until I realized that even with this form of control, Terlin would still be in charge. He would just be "letting" me "take over" if I wanted to. He had the real "override" power.

Of course, I realized, he always had that. The only time he didn't have the potential to control my body was when he wasn't in my head. And really, wasn't this "loose control/gentle control" idea better than full control?

To complicate things further, or so it felt, Terlin added, (I can't do this when we're with other Controllers, or when we're at the Yeerk Pool. Not this early, anyway.)

(You think I'd rebel?) I asked, disbelievingly.

(No. Not on purpose,) Terlin amended. (But loose control essentially allows the host the same power over their body as they would otherwise have. And in moments of heightened emotion, if you could control your body, you would take control without meaning to. At least, in the beginning. It's too dangerous.)

(What about later on? In a month or so?)

I felt him hesitate before replying. (I really can't make any promises, Tom.)

He didn't say no. Okay, he didn't say yes, but at least he wasn't saying no.

(Okay. Can we try now?)

(All right. Should I take full control, or just partial?)

I considered for a few seconds. (Partial. Something small, like my hands.)

(All right.)

I felt my hands move without me causing them to move. I tried to move my left hand to my face. It worked, but it took a second longer than normal. Or maybe, I hadn't been ready. Still. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Terlin moved my hand back to my chest. I moved it again, this time to my side. It was as easy as if Terlin hadn't been in my head.

(Good job,) he praised.

I gave him a mental smile. (Okay, now the right one.)

My right hand moved in front of my face, until I stopped it, placing it back at my side. This time, it felt effortless.

We tried a few more exercises with my hands, and then Terlin broached the topic of him expanding control.

(Okay, as long as you keep it at this level,) I told him, and he agreed.

We continued to practice for the next half hour or so, and by the end, Terlin had extended "loose control" to my entire body without me freaking out once. Of course, even when he had control of my body in this "setting", as it were, I could still move any part of me at will. Without any more effort than it would have taken had he allowed me to be the one in control.

(You're becoming quite good at this,) Terlin complimented, after handing my back my body. (And your mental state is the same as when you're in control.)

(Well, being able to move on my own helps with the whole "not panicking" factor,) I told him.

(Yes, I know,) he told me. (I hope that your unease about me taking full control, when necessary, will decrease after more time and practice.)

I didn't think it was very likely, but a few hours ago, I would have laughed had someone told me that I'd be okay with this notion of "loose control".

(I'm just glad no one could see us when we were practicing,) I told him. (My parents and Midget would have thought I'd gone crazy.)

Terlin laughed appreciatively at the image. At the joke.

It occurred to me that I didn't mind sharing my mind with him anymore. It was nice to have company in my head. Someone who understood me, someone who I could be myself around. Oh sure, I didn't have to hide a lot of who I was at school, or in front of my friends, but I'd always been someone that doctors would call well adjusted. Normal. Terlin might know all sort of embarrassing things about me that I'd never want to tell my classmates, but he seemed to like me and understand me. All of me.

I guess it was inevitable that we were actually becoming friends.

Things became a little more complicated after the first Yeerk Pool attack.

A/N: Yeah, it's been awhile since I've updated. This story isn't going away, but as you may have noticed if you follow my account, I've been working on an Animorphs series called "The Alliance". The premise of it is that rather than make Aftran become a nothlit at the end of "The Sickness", the Animorphs decide to have her infest Tom and play his old Yeerk, thereby creating an official liaison (and-of course-alliance) with the Yeerk Peace Movement. There are currently two "versions" of the same basic story; the first is called "The Alliance", from Cassie's POV, and the second is called "The Alliance : Tom's Story". The Cassie version is complete, but the Tom one is still in the final editing stages. If you're enjoying this fic, I hope you will take a look at the ones in the "Alliance" series.

Please leave feedback-I can't tell you how much it means to fanfiction writers!


	9. Chapter 9

Just as I was getting used to having Terlin in my head, another complication approached.

This Andalite known as Prince Elfangor crash landed his ship on Earth...and ended up dying at the hands of Visser Three.

I wasn't there, thank goodness. Terlin was off in the Yeerk Pool, feeding, and I was watching some TV in the voluntary area. But, from what we found out later from the other Yeerks who had witnessed it, it hadn't been pretty.

Prince Elfangor had, apparently, been too injured from the crash to be able to concentrate on morphing-which would have completely fixed his injuries. Visser Three found him. Apparently, the two had this rivalry that was beyond just a Yeerk Visser hating an Andalite prince. After taunting him for a few minutes, Visser Three morphed this monster from another planet, and actually ate the Andalite.

Gross. And not in a good way, either. I mean, this was no video game.

Probably, had we been there, I would have had nightmares for weeks. So, yeah, I was glad to be in the voluntary area of the Yeerk Pool.

Anyway, rumor had it that there were kids setting off fireworks, and so the vice principal at my kid brother's middle school-who was also a Controller-had us try to find them, and preferably, infest them.

Terlin and I were not about to do this to Jake, so we were planning to ignore the order entirely.

Things got a little more tricky when, a couple days later, Jake asked us about The Sharing.

"You've been part of it for awhile now, haven't you, Tom?" he asked me. "How is it?"

I shrugged. "It's okay. Fun, but a lot of work once you've become a full member. Not that I mind that part too much."

"Does everyone become a full member?"

"Everything who stays with it," I replied. "You start out as an associate member, but after a month or so, they will want you to become a full member. Otherwise, there's too many people attending the events, and not enough arranging them and doing the community service and paying dues."

The dues were a small thing-just a nominal fee of five dollars a month. Since The Sharing was non-profit, adults could deduct that from taxes.

Me, I just got to deduct it from my allowance.

"Can we come to a meeting?" Jake asked, glancing at Marco. "Check it out?"

Even though this had been what I was dreading, I made myself smile and look happy. "Yeah, sure. Hang on..."

I took out my calendar. "Next one's a beach barbecue. It's tomorrow, actually. Is that too soon?" I glanced at my writing. "There's a regular one next week. Board games. And then, the following week, we're going to do this community service project they haven't told us about. That one's on a Saturday morning. Should take up most of the day."

"The barbecue sounds cool," said Marco, and Jake nodded. "Hey, man, you should see if Rachel's interested."

"Why? So it can be your first date?" I ribbed.

"Exactly, dude," Marco grinned.

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "We'll ask her about it. What time does it start? Do you want to meet there?"

"I have to get there early for the setup," I explained, which was true. "You can meet us there around 5:00. 5:30, if you don't want to be the first non full members."

"I take it arriving early means we'll get the official 'join us' speech from all of the full members?" Marco guessed. "Yeah, bro, we're better off waiting until 5:30."

I laughed. "Yeah. Don't worry-you'll still hear a lot of speeches from the full members while you're there. It just won't be as aggressive if you're not the first ones."

After Jake left, I spent the remainder of the evening worrying that not only had I cost my younger brother his freedom, but also his best friend and my cousin.

(If he becomes a full member, Tom, it won't be for awhile. Plenty of time for me to find him a decent Yeerk. His friend and your cousin, as well,) Terlin reassured me. (In fact, it might be better this way. I mean, I know you want him to remain free, but we get along fine now, don't we? If your brother became voluntary and had a decent Yeerk, it might be the same way for him.)

I was torn between agreeing with Terlin and wanting to punch him.

(I thought we had an agreement,) I told him, my teeth clenched. (We weren't going to recruit my family.)

He sighed. (We won't. But you saw him. He's interested.)

(Yeah, in joining a club. Not in losing all freedom to an alien parasite,) I shot back.

(Tom. What I'm saying is that we can prevent this. If we act now, quickly, then it would reduce the chances of him being taken later by force-)

(NO!) I yelled. (You're not taking my brother!)

I felt Terlin take complete control. Which only increased my anger at him-and at myself-but I couldn't entirely blame him for doing so. Jake or my parents could be by my room at any minute, and I couldn't be seen standing there, looking furious, possibly talking to myself under my breath.

Still, I fumed inwardly for a few minutes, while Terlin had me take several deep breaths. Which, to an extent, helped.

(I will do whatever I can to protect your family, Tom. And if I cannot safeguard their freedom, I will do my upmost to secure them with a decent Yeerk. I promise.)

His voice was gentle, and that helped. Plus, I could feel his sincerity. Terlin wasn't messing with me, wasn't lying. I felt the anger drain away.

(Okay,) I said, in a softer voice. Then, (I'm sorry.)

(You have no reason to apologize, Tom,) he told me, although we both knew this wasn't entirely true.

I mean, I had lost my temper at him, and there were probably some Yeerks who would "discipline" their hosts for that. Fortunately, Terlin wasn't one of them.

(I trust you,) I told Terlin. Then, (Can I have control back?)

(Certainly,) he said, and the moment after I heard the words, I felt myself in control of my body again.

Anyway, it turned out that I had no reason to worry. Even though Jake brought Marco, Rachel, and two other of his friends with him to the barbecue, none of them had any interest in attending another meeting. When I asked why, albeit not very convincingly, Jake told me that Marco thought it seemed too much like a cult.

"But, hey, it's cool that you like it," Jake told me, with a smile.

"Thanks," I said, reaching out to tousle his hair. "You know, for giving it a chance. And yeah, it can be a little...much...for some people. I'm not mad or anything. That you don't want to join."

He seemed relieved by that, and for obvious reasons, I was elated.

The attack on the Yeerk Pool happened shortly afterwards. Since Terlin had gone straight from my school to the Pool, we weren't there. But, there had been a full members only meeting at the same time, and Visser Three had been leading it when a few human Controllers burst through the door, announcing that the Pool was under attack.

(I THOUGHT I HAD DESTROYED THE ANDALITE!) he thundered.

"Visser Three," panted a female human Controller. "There must have been others on his space craft. There are at least five Andalites at the Pool at this moment. They are murdering our guards and attempting to free all of our hosts!"

From inside my head, where I had been imagining playing basketball, I forced myself out of my daydream.

(Terlin? What about the voluntary hosts?) I asked him.

(Hiding, if they're smart,) he told me, rather tersely. (Not that I have much experience with this. To my knowledge, Andalites don't bother with attacking the pools. Simply killing us in battle.)

(Weird,) I murmured. (New type of fighting, then? Free the humans and alert the newspapers?)

(Won't do much good if they did,) Terlin replied, rather disappointingly. (Humans generally don't take stories of alien abduction seriously. Even if it made it to the front page of the news.)

(But thousands telling the same story?)

Terlin gave a little laugh. (Once Visser Three arrives with backup, the Andalites will be lucky to escape with their own lives, let alone any freed hosts. This was a rather inopportune time for an attack-for the Andalites. Had they waited a day or so, the Visser wouldn't have been able to be on the scene nearly as quickly. You'll see, Tom.)

(I'd rather not witness it, firsthand,) I told him. (Especially if you're feeding when it happens. Think they'll try killing the Yeerks in the Pool?)

(Rather sounds like the hosts are their priority,) Terlin mused. (We'll find out soon enough what happened.)

One of the other Controllers suggested adjourning the meeting, as it was unlikely the Visser would return soon. So, we all gathered up our things and left.

Jake was late for curfew that night, but as my parents had been watching a movie, he managed to sneak in without getting caught. He looked...haggard.

"You okay, Midget?" I asked him.

Oddly enough, he seemed like he was about to start crying. But, he just nodded. "Yeah. Marco kicked my butt at this new video game, though."

"Aww," I said, putting an arm around his shoulder. "Well, hey. We'll get a copy of it at the mall. Practice until you kick his butt out of the galaxy, okay?"

Any other day, Jake would have been thrilled at just us going to the mall, and then playing video games together. Especially since we hadn't done it for awhile. And maybe it was just because he was tired, but when he agreed, his heart didn't seem to be in it.

(Perhaps, there's a girl involved. That small black one in the overalls who came to the barbecue?) Terlin suggested.

(Isn't he kind of young to be interested in girls?) I asked.

Although, maybe I was just saying that because a girl had-indirectly-made me a Controller. Sure, it was working out okay, but it could have gone in another direction.

(You were about his age when you had your first crush,) he replied, teasingly.

(You're lucky you're in my head, Terlin, or I'd have you in a headlock,) I told him. (Anyway, if it is unrequited love, or just the usual crush, I hope that's all it is.)

(At least, she's not a member of The Sharing,) Terlin reassured me. (Anyway, it could work out between them.)

(Well, Midget's on his own, there,) I told him. (Unless he wants my help, of course.)

Yeah, that's probably all that it was. My baby brother had his first crush.

A/N: Since Terlin's a lot less ambitious than Temrash, I imagine that his role in the invasion will be much smaller. So, when my piece clashes with canon, that's my reasoning. And, for obvious reasons, Terlin had to be at the Yeerk Pool earlier in the day, so that Jake would not see him with the voluntary hosts.

If you could take a minute to leave feedback, I would greatly appreciate it!


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, which happened to be a Friday afternoon, Terlin and I figured out why Jake had been so bummed out the night before.

We were in my room, doing homework. One of the advantages of having Terlin in my head was that I was getting schoolwork done a lot more quickly, and actually absorbing it better than I would have on my own. For example, a reading assignment that would have taken an hour before I'd been infested would now take twenty minutes. Maybe. And, it wasn't like we were skimming over it. I comprehended everything at least twice as well as I would have had I spent an hour on it by myself. And that was the hard part. Writing papers were a breeze. After my first few weeks of what felt like a reduced homework load, I'd told Terlin (and I was only half kidding) that the Yeerks could recruit a lot more students if they just told them that Yeerks would do their homework for them in way less time.

Anyway, we were about halfway through a math assignment when Jake knocked on the door. We hadn't shut it before, just kept it half closed to avoid Mom barging in to put away laundry or something, without knocking first. Or Dad interrupting about something-even though, as a doctor, he never got home before 5:00, and often later.

So, I heard a knock, and called, "Come in," without really thinking about it. We finished up the math problem within seconds, and looked up.

Jake was standing there, looking a little better than he had the night before, but still kind of dejected.

"Hey, Midget," I greeted, turning around in my seat.

"Hi, Tom," he said, looking around the room, maybe in an effort to avoid looking at me.

"You okay?" I asked. I gestured towards a chair opposite my desk. "Wanna sit down?"

He shook his head, then nodded. Took a deep breath, then sat down.

"Everything okay?" I asked again. Then, I added, "Something you want to talk about? I could..." I nodded at the doors. "If it's private and you don't want Mom and Dad to know."

"It's not that...it's..." Jake looked away from me, then said something unintelligible.

"Um, I didn't quite get that," I told him.

He looked at the floor.

"Tom, I didn't make the team."

Oh. Ohhh.

Being a good big brother, I got up from my chair and gave him a hug, literally pulling him up from his chair as I did so. Normally, we're not too much of a touchy-feely family, but figuring that Jake must have been devastated by this news, I figured this would be welcome.

"I'm sorry, Midget."

He squeezed me back, tightly. "Thanks, Tom." Breaking apart from me, he added, "You're not, you know, upset?"

I knew what he meant. Even back then, things had been competitive back when I had first tried out for the team, but everyone said I had a gift, and I had been the best one there. Not to brag, or anything. It had just been a fact. I had a gift, I set the standard. Jake wasn't as good, it was true. I guessed there was only room for one star in my family. Or, maybe, he hadn't practiced enough beforehand. Whatever the reason, he hadn't made it, and it must have felt like what could have been a family legacy was officially over before it had begun.

"Not at you. More like, bummed for you," I told him, carefully. "I know what it meant for you, making the team. But, hey, Midget, this isn't the end if you're still intent on playing. I mean, okay, yeah, it's the end for _this_ season at this school. Still, we can practice, if you want, and maybe next year, things will be different. If the coach is still there-and there's no reason why he wouldn't be-he'll see how hard you've worked. How much you've improved. Besides, the real improvement happens once you're on the team. Practicing every day, listening to what he has to say, and playing the games. There's only so much you can do on your own. Not that you shouldn't do anything on your own. But...look, try not beat yourself up about it, okay?"

He nodded, and seemed relieved, but there was still something in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

I couldn't figure out what it was, unless Terlin was right and not making the team was only part of the problem. If he did have a crush on the girl he'd brought to the barbecue last night.

"Thanks, Tom," he answered, simply. "That means a lot, coming from you."

I tousled his hair. "That's what big brothers are for."

He turned towards the door, then hesitated.

"Anything else you want to talk about?" I queried.

He looked at my desk. "You're doing homework."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Exactly. It's a Friday afternoon, and I'm doing homework. Clearly, I'm bored out of my mind." At his smile, I added, "Besides, I don't have a ton left. Anyway, you come first. What else is on your mind, Jake?" At his hesitation, I figured I might as well bring it up. Heck, it wasn't like he'd be super mad at me for mentioning that he'd brought a girl from his school. Probably. "Is it a girl?"

Now, he looked confused. "Huh?"

"That cute black girl you brought with you last night," I explained, patiently. "You like her?"

"Ohh," Jake answered, shaking his head a little. "Naw. I mean, Cassie's cool, but I don't know her that well. Rachel had invited her. We're not-you know. Together or anything."

"Do you want to be?" I prodded, trying not to grin.

Jake shook his head. "Like I said, I barely even know her. I definitely don't _like_ her like her."

Hmm. Looking at his face, I _could_ tell that he wasn't lying. Or, if he wasn't being completely honest with me, he sure wasn't aware of it. I'd had crushes before The Sharing, and gone out on some dates with girls from my school. And while it hadn't personally ever happened to me that there was a girl who had just been a friend who suddenly became more, it certainly wasn't unheard of.

Although, maybe not as much as the latest movies implied.

So, whatever else was nagging at Jake, it wasn't Cassie. Okay. If he wasn't ready to talk, I wasn't going to be the one to try to force him. I just figured that I would try to be open for him, to whatever he was going through.

Anyway, for all I knew, it could have just been teen angst.

He _was_ a teenager, after all.

(So are you,) Terlin pointed out, amusement evident in his voice.

(Yeah, but I'm fifteen, and I'll be sixteen soon enough,) I told him. (I have two more years of experience with that. Besides, everyone knows it's the beginning teen years that are the worst.)

To be honest, I wasn't entirely positive this was true. Thirteen and fourteen hadn't exactly been as easy as my pre-teen years, but this year had certainly gotten more difficult. Partly because of the whole alien invasion thing-not that Jake had to worry about that, thank God. It seemed like a lot of childhood had been about wanting to be older, have more independence. But, with independence, we got more homework, teenage hormones, and more responsibilities from parents and teachers. Sometimes, I wished I could go back to elementary school, where the most homework you got was a half an hour during the week only, tests were not graded, and your biggest problem was if there was going to be a bully that year-and whether or not he'd pick on you. Not that any of them tried with me-Dad had taught me and Jake self defense early on. If someone hit us, we were allowed-even expected-to hit back. Just enough to show them that we weren't going to be their victims.

The one time this one kid, Marty Hayes, tried something with me, he realized soon enough that he was in over his head. And had a black eye for a week to remember it. He stopped picking on kids completely after that, for the school year.

I wondered if Jake was having problems with the kids in his school.

"Jake," I asked, carefully, "is anyone picking on you?"

He shook his head. "Well, not me, but you know the other kid who was at the barbecue?"

I nodded, remembering the dark haired one, who looked downright uncomfortable and out of place. At least, in the beginning. He seemed to be enjoying himself, at least a little, by the end.

"Yeah. He being bullied?"

Jake nodded. "First time I met him, he had his head down a toilet."

Terlin flinched mentally at that. I guess, it was too close to the guards shoving people's heads into the Yeerk Pool.

As for me, well, it took a concerted effort for me not to swear. Hitting a kid was one thing, but doing that? And I wasn't naive enough to think it had just been one kid.

"Ouch," I managed. Then, "And, I'm guessing it wasn't the first time for him."

Jake shook his head. "No, but it was the last, though. Well, as far as I know. Tobias is..."

"The kind of kid that bullies look for," I finished. "Right?"

"Pretty much."

"And those jerks, they didn't do anything to you?" I prodded.

Jake shook his head again, managing a grin. "Even if they might have, otherwise. You're kind of famous, Tom. And they're not going to mess with your kid brother. Even if he didn't make the team."

I reached out and put an arm around his shoulder. "Always next year, Midget."

"Yeah. Well, look, Marco's coming over soon, so..."

"Tell him I said hi," I told him. "And, hey, no hard feelings about the cult reference. You know, with The Sharing."

Jake managed a grin. "Will do. See you later."

After he left, I returned to my math homework, but couldn't concentrate, even with Terlin's helpful prodding.

(Okay, so if it's not a girl and it's not completely the team, what's with him?) I asked my Yeerk. (Any ideas?)

Terlin did a mental head shake. Not that Yeerks have heads, exactly, but he sent me the image of a generic human head shaking. Which would have been disconcerting a few weeks ago, except I had mostly gotten used to these mental images from my Yeerk as one of his forms of nonverbal communication.

(Your memories show that he greatly looks up to you,) he told me. (Perhaps, it is entirely not making the team, but he doesn't want to disappoint you further?)

(I'm not disappointed in him,) I pointed out, which was true. (And he gets that, now.)

(Perhaps, he's disappointed in himself?) Terlin suggested. (Even though he realizes you don't think he's at fault.)

(Maybe,) I allowed.

Neither of us were convinced. It felt like there was something going on, something bigger than that. I felt like we had lost something, some part of our friendship. Most brothers went through rough patches, I knew. Maybe, that was all this was. I just hoped that, over time, we would get our footing back.

As it turned out, it was nearly a year and a half later before we could be entirely open with each other once more.

A/N:

Turns out I had this chapter written for months and never got around to posting it. I suppose that's what happens when I work on multiple fics at once!

The next chapter will probably take place around book 6. There just isn't a ton of Tom-worthy material in the earlier ones, what with him being voluntary and all. Likewise, since Jake doesn't know that he's voluntary, he's still fighting to free his older brother.

Terlin will remain Tom's Yeerk throughout the series, which means that Jake will still end up being infested by Temrash, but it will play differently. How differently? You'll see when the book 31 version comes out.


End file.
